The Big Marmot just in case you didn't know the bleedin' obvious Community Service Announcement:
This Flux Report rubbish is proudly sponsored by..........
Trunk Monkey. What very motorist needs. Even Volvo drivers. (Actually, especially Volvo drivers. )
Axial Flux electric motors. With an Axial Flux motor... how could you go wrong?
Guaranteed to work against Daughters of Beaches key forwards!
And /or (but not 'nor', right Nosh? ),
For when life just sucks.
As used and recommended by Scotty from Marketing, and saynt Nosher after watching the World Cup penalty shoot out.
And /or (but not 'nor', right Nosh? ),
____________________________
Match Review:
This was the assessment at half time. Could be copied and pasted for full time as well:
Not sure why Wilkie is being wasted on Greene(?) Jimmy the Cat was always the man for the job. And as a (huge) bonus that would also free up Wilkie to take intercept marks.
The Sharmanator is showing what he can and can't do. If only he had a fiercer attack on the footy!
Joe King and The Sharmanator can't tackle. Missy and Gresh not great either. Pou Power unsighted in the first half. IMHO, this is where we're losing the game. They're just clearing it our of their defence too easily, and too quickly. This is making it very very difficult for our defence.
And it would bloody well help if Joe King, The Sharmanator and The Hammer stopped flying against each other. Spread you blokes! Bloody spread!
Clark (no f*****g 'e', ffs ) is clearly not fit. (Or, bloody lazy.) Saw him on more than one occasion not running to pressure their ball carrier. He's an on-baller, yet has played only 66% of game time. (Only Pou Power @ 64% has played less time... of any of our players.) IMHO, that's pretty damning.
Three quarter time:
They're still getting it out of defence way too bloody easily!
This is what we were worried about before the game. And so far, it's what's killing us.
Too many of our forwards are piss weak tacklers.
Thank gawd for our defence! We should be dead n' buried, yet, we're still in it.
Fix the forward line, and we're a red hot chance... against anyone!
Post match rants:
Frustrating, but looking at the big picture... am happy.
We could easily have been blown away... several times. (Would have lost that game last year by 12+ goals under cho ach Alfred E Clueless.)
But not this year... the blokes never gave up.
We had two more inside 50s.
And for the entire year, only two teams scored 100 points against us.
The team is young, not aging, and with huge upside.
We're soooooooo soooooooo close.
Sharman needs a run at. Otherwise he can't outmuscle an opponent. Ball on ground - he's next to useless. Can't tackle, and is very slow. His man did more damage than he did.
He simply must improve his attack on the footy, or he won't make it!
Our pathetic forward 'pressure' was the number one thing that cost us. And Sharman 'lead the way' in that department.
Of the blokes who made up our forward line for most of the day, only The Butler is a tackling threat.
Sharman - hopeless.
Joe King - hopeless.
Missy - next to hopeless.
Gresh - poor. (But now irrelevant, as he seems most unlikely to still be around.)
And again, serious questions have to be asked about Clark's tank. Especially as his serious injuries have been facial, so shouldn't have affected his ability go for a run... and get bloody fit(!)
We need two young gun mids of the calibre of the likes of Gulden, Tom Greene, Rozee, Buttersssssssssss, Rankine, Rachelle, Horne-Francis.
We have plenty of potential steak knives to choose from to package up with our first round daft pick... Gresh, Clark, Doogie, Members, Coff, Jones, Seb, Billings, Bybes, Bytel, Paton.
Everyone's talking about hitting the daft. But this year's daft is looking pretty thin. Package players and daft picks, and bring in quality, known quality.
End of season 'list management' decisions at the Saynta(s) will be very very very interesting...
A (much) Better Match Review:
CQ Captain Seven Seas but now only 6 hens wrote: βWed 13 Sep 2023 4:16pm
Sharman's ground work won't matter if we can fix the the spread and run issues.
He would become a big weapon.
Smart player and gets his hands to the ball. Its ok for forward to be just contested mark footballer. You just need the right midfield.
Needs Butler to stay within 10 metres at all times around half forward and no further up field ever.
That would change things on the rebound spread. Someone to kick to and a quick crumber, pressure tackler, who can kick a goal.
King needs to stay out of Caminiti's way a bit too.
And so much air in the ball coming in to deep fifty with 3 bigs blokes and no one on the ground.
We also need to stop running past opponents just to get back and fill space defensively.
They killed us in the 50 - 60 metres defensive zone and we had gaps everywhere.
Man the f*** up, hit some bodies and just grind for a while.
They are quick and Kelly is a freak.
Either side would have won with him playing for them today.
We are hard to beat.
But we haven't even started attacking yet.
We are coming.
Still Post of the friggin' Year!!!
D.B.Cooper wrote: βSat 26 Aug 2023 12:21pm I take being called Aeon (no "r"), as a compliment, she is nutty as hell and I don't understand half of what she writes, but she is clever and creative.
The Flux Mailbag:
After this post the mailbag has been running hot with questions from fellow Saintsationalists wanting to know the secret to winning the heart of a hot girl.
The answer is that it's not that difficult if you know what you're doing, like Mason obviously does. And Mason learned everything he knows from Ferretvilles' favourite son.loris wrote: βMon 04 Sep 2023 2:51pmSurprise, surprise my heart throb Mason Wood taps into analytics. Aaah βthe docβ is becoming more desirable, the more I read/hear about him. What more could a woman want? Heβs intelligent, is drop dead gorgeous looking, has magnificent physique.
The invitation is still there for Mason Wood to park his shoes (even his footy boots) under my bed anytime- I could even feign interest in discussing the analytics of scoring a point and the overall impact it has on Aussie Rules.
So here on the Fluxed Mailbag report, we proudly present 'How to pick up chicks - the Masterclass', as presented by the one and only HarryM.
Take it away Harrrrrryyyyyyyyy.............
Post of the Week:
Oh Nosh. This is why you are so beloved here at the Floosy Report.saynt Nosher Powell wrote: βMon 04 Sep 2023 10:46pmI just don't like bullying schoolboy bulls*** dressed up as supposed humour at someone else's expense and in this case, mine. I don't read this rubbish anymore.
These users also thanked the author Nosher for the post:
Ryan Bybes (with a f******g 's', ffs), Bram Stoker, Olli Hooton, Aeron (no f*****g 'r', ffs), and Geelong's Michaels brothers Scott & Mal.
Parachuting into threads (see what we did there? ) unannounced to swear at posters for spelling, grammar and player name errors......... whilst all along you..........
What can we say? Your uncanny use of irony. It's comic genius! And we salute you.
And with all that in mind, we'll segue right into...
Spelly's here to help:
Spelly wrote: βWed 13 Sep 2023 3:46pmNow Nosh, you've been much better of late, but, this one has been pointed out before. You used 'neither', so, you should use 'nor'.saynt Nosher Powell wrote: βMon 11 Sep 2023 11:33am I had us finishing 6th and I am neither blindly devoted or lying.
These users also thanked the author Nosher for the post:
Ryan Bybes (with a f******g 's', ffs), Bram Stoker, Olli Hooton, Aeron (no f*****g 'r', ffs), and Geelong's Michaels brothers Scott & Mal.
Carry on.
And, you're welcome.
Where are some of our favourite Sainsationalists and what are they doing?:
HarryM continues Italian affair(s). Onya Harry!
Young Loris continues her to build her winning sample size as once again Chess Grand Master Vortemortex PhD (piled higher and deeper) brings a knife to a gun fight. Looks like the sample size is saying that Vortemortex (he whose name Firey dares not speak) does not have the game to stand up in the last quarter of a chess grand final.
Onya Loris!
Dragstar is still keeping the family entertained in between Ro$$y and his saynta(s) winning games of footy.
Onya Dragstar!
More post-training recovery advice from Big.Marmot. Eating right is so important to recovery.
Onya Big.Marmot!
At Scollop's request, comrade Rosputin (with a little help from friends) is back again for another one of his famous dance classes, here on ZZ main forum for all to share. Why should Jen all the fun?
Onya comrade!
Prez Fred Basset ITK wrote: βWed 13 Sep 2023 4:16pm
Dearest Aeon,
Yes, that correct. The foundations have been laid by Ro$$y and his Saynta(s). And those miserable bastard cheese eating surrender monkeys should cheer up, ffs! Happy daze are coming We kept our powder dry. Next week it's Swine time! And for real. Look out!
Looking forward to seeing you at the footy again next year Aeon honey.
Love and Fortius Quo Fidelius,
- Fred.
Vortemort - the poster whose name firey dares not speak wrote: βThu 01 Dec 2022 6:31amBassett is a genius.
Thoughts, Rodger? <swoon> .................
Thoughts, Saintsationalists...?
- Aeon.
Tim Whitmarsh, the A G Leventis Professor of Greek Culture at the University of Cambridge wrote:
Aeon is where the worldβs best best thinkers share their insights into issues of central importance to our times. It is reliably the best place to find content that is punchy, insightful, accessible and always unpredictable.
https://aeon.co/
A top read.
Still the host with the most.
The view from Southern Crustacean after the footy.
For Loris.
He's still here Nosh.
Lizard Boy! Still even more reviled than Jade Gresham.
.