The D.B. Cooper Report* Community Service Announcement:
The FBI speculated that D.B. Cooper was a military-trained parachutist. The profile also speculated that Cooper was someone who exercised regularly due to comments by multiple eyewitnesses regarding D.B. Cooper's athletic-looking frame despite his age. They also felt he was not a heavy drinker or an alcoholic because the only drink he was served was quickly spilled and he never requested another. The profile determined that an alcoholic would have likely been incapable of turning down further alcoholic beverages throughout the stressful and lengthy hijacking. Several of D.B. Cooper's mannerisms led the FBI to conclude that he was more intelligent than a common criminal such as his vocabulary level, his proper use of aviation-related terminology, complete lack of profane language, his calm demeanor, his style of dress, and the respect he showed for the female members of the crew. D.B. Cooper's ability to quickly and competently adapt to various situations as they arose indicated to profilers that he was likely the type of person who would commit a crime without the need or desire for an accomplice.
This D.B. Cooper Report* is proudly sponsored by..........
Trunk Monkey. What very motorist needs. Even Volvo drivers. (Actually, especially Volvo drivers.
)
Axial Flux electric motors. With an Axial Flux motor... how could you go wrong?
Guaranteed to work against Daughters of Beaches key forwards!
And /or (but not 'nor', right Nosh?),
For when life just sucks.
As used and recommended by Scotty from Marketing, and saynt Nosher after watching the World Cup penalty shoot out.
And /or (but not 'nor', right Nosh?
____________________________
Match Review:
- The scoreboard may have flattered us, but it flattered them too. They gave it their best shot, and, at home, all they could do was fall over the line.
- Whereas............ we kept our powder dry.
- We remain unconvinced that he can reproduce consistently (need a bigger sample size
), but have to say that that was arguably Bybes' (with a f*****g 's', ffs 
) best effort. - The Sharmanator! Unsighted! Ineffectual! Outski! Don't rate Harris Andrews. Not saying he's a dud, but like Rance, very very overrated. A key defender who never plays on a key forward! Seriously!?!
- Members'. Kicking three flatters his performance. The question is, is he still rusty, or is he simply past it? If the former, he's been rusty for a long time now. Does he play next game, or The Hammer...?
- Clark (no f*****g 'e', ffs
) is still playing barely 50% of the game! Has been that way pretty much every week since he came back. What he does when he's on the field is very classy, but shirley, he should have more match fitness by now???- Pou Power. Still not doing much. Still getting a game from Ro$$y. Probably not just on potential, but because Billings and Bytel aren't rated(?) And with Sandy done for the year, pretty unlikely Hotton-to-Trotton would be debuted... in a final. Besides, Pou Power plays because Catp CQ wants him in, and that's good enough for us.
So for the Swines in a fortnight...
Ae-Ins: Joe King, Doogie, Sebastian.
Ae-Outskis: The Sharmanator, Members, Bybes' (with a f*****g 's', ffs
).BS Sub: Sebastian.
Next in line to come in: The Hammer - unlucky.
Sandy Match Report:
Sandy didn't play. Which is the usual story anyway.
Flux Controversy of the Week:
Paddy McPuddin retires.
Our criticisms (and anger) have been directed at those who chose to take him at #1.
As for criticism of Paddy himself, we'd mainly limit that to his decision to play-on again at the Swines. Know why he did it, but it was still silly. Though arguably, way sillier.......... the medical specialists who allowed him to play on.
The collision with Ben Long was (by footy standards).......... innocuous.
It was obvious if Paddy came back again, it would only be a matter of time. And the incident that ended up ending up his career was even more innocuous than the Ben Long one. Amazing that took 28-odd games to happen.
Haven't watched the video, but people are saying he only thanks the Swines. If true, that too would be a piss-off.
Our club bent over backwards to look after him. And we'd argue, that included our not keeping him on the list.
Delisting a No 1 pick in his (supposed) prime... well, that was very arguably a very caring thing for our club to do. Hopefully when the dust (and brain fog?) settles, and Paddy looks back, he too will be able to see and appreciate what the Saynta(s) did for him. And, that's actually way way way more than the Swines(!)
Post of the friggin' Year!!!
D.B.Cooper wrote: ↑Sat 26 Aug 2023 12:21pm I take being called Aeon (no "r"), as a compliment, she is nutty as hell and I don't understand half of what she writes, but she is clever and creative.
Posts of the Week:
Oh Nosh! Coming from you, that's so so sweet. And we love you right back. (We know you have issues expressing affection.saynt Nosher Powell wrote: ↑Fri 25 Aug 2023 3:00pmThat's just expanding a misconception.
Are you sure you are not that creep who posts regular crap under the heading the f***ed up report.?
There are certain giveaways.
These users also thanked the author Nosher for the post:
Ryan Bybes (with a f******g 's', ffs), Bram Stoker, Olli Hooton, Aeron (no f*****g 'r', ffs), and Geelong's Michaels brothers Scott & Mal.
) You've long been the number one contributor to the Flu Reports. And more recently, a valued sponsor. Furthermore, judging by the Fluxed Up Mailbox feedback, you're also a real fan favourite too.
That bucket will need to be a large one.cwrcyn wrote: ↑Sat 26 Aug 2023 5:54amThe way the media slobber and and grovel around Hardwick is embarrassing. The endless fawning is nauseating, especially from the likes of Gearard Whately, whose flowery language and faux intellectualism combine to produce a bile inducing soliloquy every time he speaks about Hardwick. Pass me the bucket.
HarryM wrote: ↑Sun 27 Aug 2023 2:45pmThat statement begs a pretty obvious assumption.saynt Nosher Powell wrote: ↑Sat 26 Aug 2023 11:10amYuk....like eating snot.
These users also thanked the author Nosher for the post:
Ryan Bybes (with a f******g 's', ffs), Bram Stoker, Olli Hooton, Aeron (no f*****g 'r', ffs), and Geelong's Michaels brothers Scott & Mal.
You walked right into that one dad. Absolutely.
Where are some of our favourite Sainsationalists and what are they doing?:
HarryM continues Italian affair(s). Seems he still can't stop. And he's going green. (Sort of.)
Onya Harry!
Young Loris continues her to build her winning sample size as once again Chess Grand Master Vortemortex PhD (piled higher and deeper) brings a knife to a gun fight.
Onya Loris!
Dragstar is still keeping the family entertained in between Ro$$y and his saynta(s) winning games of footy.
Onya Dragstar!
More post-training recovery advice from Big.Marmot. A nice relaxing post training shower is so important to recovery.
Onya Big.Marmot!
At Scollop's request, comrade Rosputin (with a little help from friends) is back again for another one of his famous dance classes, here on ZZ main forum for all to share. Why should Jen all the fun?
Onya comrade!
Prez Fred Basset ITK wrote: ↑Sun 27 Aug 2023 2:45pm
Dearest Aeon,
Yes, that correct. We kept our powder dry. Next week it's Swine time! And for real. Look out!
Looking forward to seeing you at the footy again Aeon honey.
Love and Fortius Quo Fidelius,
- Fred.
Vortemort - the poster whose name firey dares not speak wrote: ↑Thu 01 Dec 2022 6:31amBassett is a genius.
Thoughts, Rodger? <swoon> .................
Thoughts, Saintsationalists...?
- Aeon.
Tim Whitmarsh, the A G Leventis Professor of Greek Culture at the University of Cambridge wrote:
Aeon is where the world’s best best thinkers share their insights into issues of central importance to our times. It is reliably the best place to find content that is punchy, insightful, accessible and always unpredictable.
https://aeon.co/
A top read.
Still the host with the most. 
* Here at the Flunk Report we certainly love reading DB's work. But, we are not him.
So, smart move Nosh, not betting when you know you're wrong.
That said, probably wouldn't have mattered. DB would have been magnanimous about your debt to him. Word is, the first thing he did after he hit the ground (running) was speak to a couple of ex-AFL footballers. Then he dropped-in all his hard earned with a mob called Berkshire Hathaway. (To this day, his holding sits right alongside your own canny investment, word is.)
He's still here Nosh.
Lizard Boy! Even more reviled than Jade Gresham.
.
( God help me)
)
game. I don’t want to get timed out!
