The CHO Report.

[AeonFlux]

.

A special and brief (both terms are relative ) 'The CHO Report', thanks to the latest from, the CHO.



Seems that we're all stuck at home for five days. Another five days freedom lost. Another $650+ million lost. Down the gurgler because the CHO, and his team of monkeyboys (chimps?) couldn't get right their recruiting or game plans*.

So, what have some of Saintsational's finest been up to during this latest period of incarceration, courtesy of the CHO?

lets all be merry and gay ffs.

Well, after speaking with a couple of ex-AFL fooballers, the word is................


Not everyone is taking a break. Sainstional's favourite international diplomat, pourer of oil on troubled waters, honorary Canberran, and Eleni Gloutfsis fan club president, Saynta, has been on the job smoothing some of those troubled waters. Onya Saynta!



Saintsational's favourite raconteur, gourmet quiche maker and former olympic curling champion, Harry M, is a model law abiding model citizen. So Harry is still practising his extreme social isolating. Onya Harry!



And the man who inspired Harry........ Sainstaional's favourite bushy seafarer, Trev from the Sea. Onya Trev!



And the man who inspired Pauline Hansen, Saintstional's favourite upholder of the cultural status quo, multicultural ambassador at large, and closet fashion designer, Ace. Onya Ace!



The word from a couple of ex-AFL footballers is that this may be actual footage of the first meeting of Saintsational's favourite desert dweller/now coastal dweller, and the Swiss Miss(us). Onya DS!



Which segues us to our favourite bird impersonator, but now former Saintsationalist, who was sadly ousted from this site. All is not lost though. Ted has hired Donald Turnip's favourite lawyer, Mr Drippy, and Ted is having his day in court to clear his name. (Make his name?) Onya Ted!



To do his bit to help the CHO to combat Whinnie the Pooh flu, the recently clean shaven, Sainstational's favourite True Believing heavy metal axman, has branched-out into music-video making. Onya TB!



Sainstaional's favourite comrade and Eleni Gloutfsis fan club vice-president, Ropsutin, is still on sabbatical in the motherland. Onya comrade!




Saintsational's favourite lefty trippy hippy went to the top with this effort to entertain those imprisoned by the CHO. Don't leave us TTT!



Sainstational's favourite game anal yst, retired sporting hero, and avowed Richo defender, Big MervMart, has been on the radio to promote our club. Onya MervMart!



Unfortunately, Mart's old drinking buddy and synchronised swimming partner, Aaron66, is still having car issues.
Onya Aaron!



A blast from the past. Every Saintsationalist holds fond memories of that dynamic duo, those unrepentant cardigan wearers, Stinger and his mate Grumpy One. Onya Sting and Grumps!



Another blast from the past. Sationsational's favourite purveyor of dripping irony and bedtime fairy tales. A man who was one of nature's true gentlemen. (Except of course, when he wasn't.) Onya Jaffleboi!



And of course, how could we forget the man behind it all. Saintsational's very own Fearless Leader. Onya Simon!



But when all is said and done, and it's time to raise back up the tone, and the class level, around here..........................onya Loris!





And some actually footy content, because StPavlova loves actual footy content.

Absolutely!

We note with glee the footballing death of Eddy 'King Kong' MacGuire last week.

But there's also some sadness. Think of all that could have been avoided if only, way back when.....................
Plugger hadn't missed.

flux yeah!

We'd like to see that:
We note with amusement that Jack Sinclair has declared he wants to take his game to a new level. We can only bloody hope that means actually kicking the bloody ball to the advantage of his team mates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Still post of the year:

AeonFlux (1/3)
- spamming forum

This best 22 team (Lonie's inclusion aside)isn't bad.

Here's my Best 22, without any real knowledge of how players are performing in the preseason. No room for Seb at full strength.

B: Paton Howard Wilkie

HB: Long Carlisle Coffield

C: Hill Crouch Battle

HF: Gresham Membrey Billings

F: Marshall King Butler

Rucks: Ryder, Steele

Rover: Clark

Inter: Hannebery; Higgins; Lonie & Geary;


Emergencies: Ross, Sinclair & Bytel.

No Sinkers, no Seb, no Clark Kent.
Billings forward,
and for the first time in decades, we actually have a rover. And it's Clark.
Like. Like. Like. Like. Like And, like.

(We'd also like Bytel on the bench for Tim Paine, but that won't happen yet.)

Onya Captain!

Absolutely!

So now it’s over to you Rodger honey. <swoon>
Time to bring back the famous Fox Reports.
(Vass misses the Fox Reports. Hint-bloody-hint, Rodge. )



Thoughts, Rodger? <swoon>

Thoughts, penguini?

Thoughts, Sinkers?

Thoughts, merry and gay people?

Thoughts, Saintsationalists?


- Aeon.

Dear Aeon,

Take care, and I can’t wait to see you at the footy.

And Aeon honey, what happened to the penguinni? I loved the penguinni.

'Fred'.

*Holiday Inn.


.

[desertsaint]

well someone's making the most of the lockdown.
i'd say you should make hay while the sun shines, but you're in victoria, so you'll get lots more opportunities
stay healthy and sane(ish) aeon!

[Dis Believer]

At last, a break from the breathless anticipation of our upcoming season!!

Whilst we are ALL weak at the knees due to the prospects of our rapidly improving team, it is great to be able to wind back the pace and pause for a moment.

Thanks Aeon, it's been too long since we had this level of disarray and discombobulation on the forum!! The whole place is so in agreement about how good we will be that the place has become (gasp).....boring!!!

[Devilhead]

I got banned for using the word "The" once before

[Dis Believer]

I got banned for using the word "The" once before

Maybe you should change your sig to

The Devil is in "The" detail......

[sunsaint]

The devil made him do it
Its the vibe its the SS constitution yes its the vibe
"He" has left the building so 666 party on dudes

[bangaulegend]

Great to see you back Fluxie Lady entertaining as per usual

[saynta]

Great to see you back Fluxie Lady entertaining as per usual

Posting more crap you mean.

[roskilde]

Vice-President of the Eleni Gloutfsis fan club is disappointing. Maybe if I just slip some of this slightly metallic substance into Saynta's tea I can be RULER FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[saynta]

Vice-President of the Eleni Gloutfsis fan club is disappointing. Maybe if I just slip some of this slightly metallic substance into Saynta's tea I can be RULER FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no f****** idea who this women is and care even less.

[roskilde]

Vice-President of the Eleni Gloutfsis fan club is disappointing. Maybe if I just slip some of this slightly metallic substance into Saynta's tea I can be RULER FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no f****** idea who this women is and care even less.

She's the umpire who was awarded the OAM we both commented on.

It's a joke though, Saynta. Don't take it too seriously.

[Ghost Like]

Vice-President of the Eleni Gloutfsis fan club is disappointing. Maybe if I just slip some of this slightly metallic substance into Saynta's tea I can be RULER FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no f****** idea who this women is and care even less.

Yet the need to comment contradicts that statement.

[saynta]

Vice-President of the Eleni Gloutfsis fan club is disappointing. Maybe if I just slip some of this slightly metallic substance into Saynta's tea I can be RULER FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no f****** idea who this women is and care even less.

She's the umpire who was awarded the OAM we both commented on.

It's a joke though, Saynta. Don't take it too seriously.

Hate the OP though.

[saynta]

Vice-President of the Eleni Gloutfsis fan club is disappointing. Maybe if I just slip some of this slightly metallic substance into Saynta's tea I can be RULER FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no f****** idea who this women is and care even less.

Yet the need to comment contradicts that statement.

Rubbish...

[AeonFlux]

Pressure from injuries and from HollySEN has forced the Captain to update the team from the original.

Here's my Best 22, without any real knowledge of how players are performing in the preseason. No room for Seb at full strength.

B: Long Howard Wilkie

HB: Battle Carlisle Coffield

C: Hill Crouch Higgins

HF: Gresham Membrey Billings

F: McSpuddlington King Butler

Rucks: Ryder, Steele

Rover: Clark

Inter: Hannebery; Sinclair (Nooooooooooooo! ); Lonie & Bytel;


Emergencies: Ross, Wood & Jimmy the Cat .




Looks like Paton is out for sometime. Poor bastard.

So in my best 22, Long takes Paton's position, Battle to half back, Higgins onto the wing and Sinclair comes in. Sorry.

Hope Marshall isn't going to miss games. If so, Spud McSpuddlington comes into contention. Could he do a Zacariah Dawson?

Although, I'd go with the 1 ruck and Battle to CHF.

Would (also no pun) like to see Wood and Jimmy the Cat in, for Sinkers and Lonie.

Otherwise................onya Captain!

Absolutely!

Still post of the year:

AeonFlux (1/3)
- spamming forum

Funny post of the week/month/maybe, the year:
The lead in.

AFL field umpire Elini Gloutfsis received an OAM today for her services to umpiring nationally.
Congratulations Elini!

Has Elini officiated in many saints games?

Was she one of the umpires in the St Kilda vs West Coast match a few years ago?

Yep. s*** umpire, worst ever. Got dropped after that game from memory.

Then, the punchline.

Vice-President of the Eleni Gloutfsis fan club is disappointing. Maybe if I just slip some of this slightly metallic substance into Nosher's tea I can be RULER FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no f****** idea who this women is and care even less.

Absolutely! Hilarious!

Yep. Gold. Absolutely.

And was wondering, as the authour of this post clearly needs a new writer.......... who writes your stuff Nosh'?





Thoughts, Rodger? <swoon>

Thoughts, penguini?

Thoughts, Sinkers?

Thoughts, merry and gay people?

Thoughts, Saintsationalists?


- Aeon.

Dear Aeon,

Take care, and I can’t wait to see you at the footy.

And Aeon honey, give us more of the wonderful St Nosher. I love his climate catastrophy-aware environmentally-friendly green jacket.

'Fred'.

Certainly Fred. A pleasure to oblige. Shall see what I can seek out.












.

[roskilde]

I can really see how that Tiny Tim song was used as a prominent song in a horror film.

It makes my skin crawl just listening to it.

[AeonFlux]

End of 2021 season free agents up for grabs is quite some list. https://www.afl.com.au/news/542061

Reckon we'd have the cap space to make some very serious plays.
- Hanner's was apparently very heavily front loaded, and isn't costing us much now.
- Hopefully Hill is also front loaded.
- Billings indicated he's willing to take a cut to stay.
- Robbo' is reportedly one of our highest paid, and looks like retiring.
- Gears' will shirley pull up stumps.
- Seb can take a cut, or be traded.
- Word also is that Jimmy the Cat is on pretty good money, which we don't think will continue into season 2022.

As for defending our list, Billings and Members are the only ones we'd be worried about losing. We know that Billings is committed, and reckon Members would be pretty happy where he is. Especially seeing we gave him his break, and he's now done the hard yards whilst we rebuilt.

As for the opportunities...
Dal's cuz, Cripps, Kelly. In that order. Realise the first two will be tough, especially being captains. (Is Cripps captain?)
But if we could land the Bont'... he'd be pretty much the last piece in the puzzle... and then some! So offer him a 'Godfather' five year deal to see him out. (Vaas is keen to deliver the offer personally. )

Ziebell might be lurable (is that a word?) given that Road Kill is doing the 'sink like a rock' thing. Come to us.......chance at a flag, as he has little time left in his career. So would be cheap(ish).

Nathan Jones might want to play a year with his bro'. Would be cheap. (Is his body still up to it...?)

Robbie Tarrant or Dan Talia. There's our third tall defender.

And Matt Crouch will probably be keen to return home... and play with his bro'.

And if we still need another ruckman - Max Gawn.



Out of all those - throw the kitchen sink at the Bont.

Nuff Nuff players would be gettable, and not too expensive... Ziebell and Tarrant.

And reunite the Crouch bros'.










Post of the Week:

We need to recruit some nice young talent in the back office to ensure he is encouraged to stay

I think from the outside the harmony between the mature experienced club men and up and coming youth has the right balance between administration, coaching and playing cattle to provide a successful era and i would hate to see that fabric stretched by a key person like Satan leaving.

Looks like we all now love Satan, gone are the he's just an AFL plant posts.

That’s a Coalition thing. We don’t do that at St Kilda FC

But still post of the year:

AeonFlux (1/3)
- spamming forum

Absolutely!

Where are the Saintsationalists now?
Saintsational's favourite salty bushy has hit the bitumen. (Under a pseudonym, As Trev from the Track is a humble bloke.) Onya Trev!






The Flux Quiz:
Win this car *.
Just be the first person to correctly nominate the current owner.






Answering the big questions:

Satan - Is staying. Feels that he owes us. Satan is a Saint! (Sorry. Couldn't resist. )

Sledge the Duelling Banjos mob? Only if arseclown Scarlett makes a comeback.

Bring back Paddy Whacked?

Saintas to Tassie? Attention Big Merv Mart. Whilst your Tassie pride and loyalty are well placed, please never forget, once a team amalgamates or relocates.......... that team ceases to exist. Shame on you!





Thoughts, Rodger? <swoon>

Thoughts, penguini?

Thoughts, Nosher?

Thoughts, merry and gay people?

Thoughts, Saintsationalists?


- Aeon.

Dear Aeon,

Take care, and I can’t wait to see you at the footy.

And Aeon honey, could you seek out some more of the politically incorrect St Nosher? He's so bad......... he's good.

'Fred'.

Certainly Fred. A pleasure to oblige. Have sought this one out for you.












* Employees, Mates, or anyone who knows the correct answer is ineligible to enter.

[HarryM]

Don't know any merry and gay people but your report was as always quite thought provoking fluxman.

[asiu]

* Employees, Mates, or anyone who knows the correct answer is ineligible to enter.

i’ve always desired to be ineligible
lest i get sold a raffle ticket with no prize

being fluxed by the system
is sorta sexy

thanx

[asiu]

Those turboed 6's go like the proverbial off a shovel. I had about 3 of them, and only ended up in a Mustang because they stopped making the Aussie Fords!!

that guy knows the caper
by the sounds of it