The Flux Report: Einstein's Round

[AeonFlux]

My Saintsationalists,

Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.
For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.

Probably should be the ‘ban the bomb’ round, but we’ve already had tried featuring that in a previous round....... to no bloody avail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!



On a (brief) brighter note. Just luuuurrrre going to interstate teams’ grounds. It’s always best to arrive a little early. Have some to kill. Thanks for that great piece of advice O.J.






1st half:
Undersized defence! Now it's Wilkie on Cameron. Still giving away size though. Nathan Brown dropping...?

But... the big problem is the bloody bomb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

How many times have we kicked to an outnumber for their defenders to take a relieving mark??? (How many times have they returned the favour when going forward? None, I'd reckon. )

At half time we've won the inside 50's 30-22, yet, marks inside 50... 9-5 their way! Delivery inside 50! Says it all.

Stupid inane coaching saw us sinking like Christian Petracca grasping his medicine ball.

I just can't believe the incompetent coaching!!! Keep doing the same disastrous thing. Keep getting the same disastrous result.

Some Saintsationalists have been putting forward various excuses and mitigations. You know, like look at all out injuries, we’re still 4 n’ 3, we’re still in the 8, the Gi-aints are a potential premiership team (so should we be!!!!!!!!), who’d have thought we’d have started the season so well, the feng shui was all wrong, it’s only a game.........

F^^k

To all these we call BS!!!!!!!!!!

Inside 50’s 62-42. Our way!!!!!!!! !!!!! How the hell can a team do that and lose by 44 points!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday should have been our sixth win for the season. Then, throw in the injuried/unavailable players whom we hope to get back later in the season......................... we should be gearing up for a bloody flag tilt!!!!!!!!

But we’re not!

It’s clearly not the talent of the playing list. The problem lays fairly and squarely at the feet of <the definite article deleted by mods> choaching clowns!!!!!!!!!!!

Five years of <the definite article deleted by mods> Cho, and
- we’re still bombing long to an outnumber in our forward line!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- With no front and centre crumbers!!!!!!!!
- And where was the wall to ping the thing straight back in??????? (The first part of the third quarter aside.) Not that it would have done any good.

F^^k

Down the other end......... how did they manage to so often get their forwards one-on-one contests???????? Where was the cover for Joyce on Cameron??????????

F^^k again.

Out-choached! Embarrassingly so. And Leon Cameron is hardly rated as a gun choach. Given the list he’s been gifted, has massively under-achieved.

Good effort so far this season????? We should be bloody 6-zip. The first 5 of those bloody 6 goal-plus wins!!!!!




This week's committee:
- Catherine. (Fired up even more again after Saturday!!!!! !!!!! Still brought takeaway though. Chunky Custard. Mmmmmmmmm.)

- Vaas Montenegro. (He’s even more p*^$#@d-off than Catherine.)
- Aaron.
- Saxons. (Still RosKilda’s favourite poster. And the world would be even better if he was the only poster. )
- BornAgainNorwegianTed12. (king12’s favourite Norwegian internet troll. And we love him too.)
- Parquetrysainter. (He is just like Teds).
- tony12. (Teds’ mate from......we’re not sure where....? Just suddenly appeared. )
- Owen.

Missing:
- Johnny.
- Rodger. <swoon>
- Lazar. (In intensive training to be ready to back up the Marshall. His presence was again missed.)
- Simon, aka the Troll Hunter, aka (not yet) BFTNorway.
- Loris. (Where are you? Has it been for the lack of Kinky Friedman quotes?)
- Mr Huggie Duck. (Should be posting back here, not posting over on the Big BS thing. Come home Huggie, all is forgiven.)
- Sainter K. (Where are you?)
- Jaffa Boy. (Arguing with a Concern Troll. Still.)
- Concern Troll. (Bemused by Jaffa Boy. Still.)
- tony12. (Teds’ mate from......we’re not sure where....? Just suddenly disappeared. And then just reappeared, but Ted disappeared. Confusing? And now the whisper is that tony12 is really toni12? Even more very confusing.)
- Jessica Whelan, Melissa Parke, Steve ‘touch feely’ Dixon, Wayne Kurnorth, Luke Creasey and Peter Mutton’s soul.




Back to the rant.

Unbelievable that anybody thinks his performance is remotely satisfactory after these 5 years. A few wins and all of a sudden hes not the issue anymore? Gee you people forget quickly.

Our forward fifty entry blueprint 1:



Our forward fifty entry blueprint 2:

Man's ability to delude himself is infinite.

Our forward fifty entry blueprint 3:



Our forward fifty entry blueprint 4:
Hints...

In the first quarter, we played exclusively along the left wing/flank and bombed the ball to 20m out from goal. They got 7 rebound goals from our stupidity. It was embarrassing to watch. We were in control for most of the second and third quarters. in fact, we dominated all but 5 minutes of the third. In the 25 minutes we dominated, we got one goal. In the 5 minutes they dominated, they got 4 goals. Bombing to the square, outrageously bad miss-kicks, and hesitant decision making when we had players in space cost us many goals. We should have kicked 6 in that quarter.

What the game showed, however, that we are capable and more than competitive in general play when we are patient with the ball and are willing to go to players in space. Once we get that manic, rush of blood to the head, drive the ball deep into 50 at all costs attitude, we get burnt. We lost our patience and we lost our heads today. i can't recall us switching play in defense more that 3 times all day. We barely used the corridor at all. In fact, it seemed we had an aversion to it.

If we get back to following our structure and plan from rounds 2 to 5, then we'll be competitive. If we don't regain our composure, our patience, and our structure, we'll be pulverised in the next two weeks.

Thank you fantastic post. Exactly

Can someone please remind us why we’re paying <the definite article deleted by mods> Cho $500K p.a., when he can’t identify what the astute likes of cwrcyn can identify for us - for nothing????



Our forward fifty entry blueprint 5:
Hint. Look no further than how teams are now playing against the E-girls to stop McGovern from intercept marking. And the E-girlies – they don’t like it.

Hint. Who do we play next week????????? (But don’t anyone hold their breath.)



Our forward fifty entry blueprint 6:

Sorry. Sadly that video is a work of fiction, and so bears no relation to our forward fifty entry blueprint.



Our forward fifty entry blueprint 7 (message to our forwards):

Happiness is a moving target.

Our forward fifty entry blueprint 9 (message to our forwards):

How hard can it be?

Our forward fifty entry blueprint 8 (message to our forwards):
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=97858#p1789011
The whole thread!


More rant :
Undersized defence! Now it's Wilkie on Cameron. Still giving away size though. Nathan Brown...? :stinger:

But... the big problem is the bloody bomb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

How many times have we kicked to an outnumber for their defenders to take a relieving mark??? (How many times have they returned the favour when going forward? Almost none, I'd reckon. )

At half time we've won the inside 50's 30-22, yet, marks inside 50... 9-5 their way! Delivery inside 50! :sick:

F^^k

Says it all.

Just can't believe the incompetent coaching!!! Keep doing the same disastrous thing. Keep getting the same disastrous result.



Listening to experts?:

Perhaps all the experts on the keyboards should just sit back and wait to see what the Neurosurgeons and doctors recommend for McCartin in regard to whether or not he continues playing football, because all everyone else is doing is guessing.

If he was your kid and had 8 concussions what would you think.
The fact that it wasn't that hard a knock and he hasn't recovered in 10 weeks is telling.
The only sensible thing to do is to retire him for his own well being.

If it was my kid i would listen to the experts who have years of study and experience on the matter.

There was a time when experts used to recommend bleeding with leeches and doctors used to recommend smoking to ease stress......

Ok so what you are essentially saying is you know better than a doctor or neurosurgeon regardless of what occupation or expertise you have. Must be great to know so much about everything

Hey all those Arts and Law graduates, Greenies, GetUp, know better about how to make reliable electricity than this retired electrical engineer.
They know that they know everything about everything.
Why would you pay attention to doctors.

Firstly, we read that this is not necessarily something that every retirement-aged (significant) osteoporosis sufferer does, before booking a skiing holiday. (And we also wonder if all those Arts and Law graduates, Greenies, GetUp, at least know better on that one.)

But regardless, we sincerely wish any such people the best of luck with any skiing activities. Hopefully the ski slopes are more merciful than, those who invaded indigenous Australia. And also hopefully, any non-lack of sugar in a diet has no effect on anyone’s life expectancy either.

But one does need to define one’s terms.
Expert? An ‘ex’ is a has-been. A ‘spurt’ is a drip under pressure.

Now, consider a bloke with a history of 45 concussions in two years of AFL footy. Despite now wearing a helmet.
He then gets a routine tap from Long’s stomach region in a marking contest.
No sign of his head also hitting a sharp part of the human anatomy on the way down,
or of his head hitting the ground when down.
He has a headache.
Still!
That 'incident' happened 10 weeks ago!

Not so sure that one needs to be a has-been drip under pressure to work out that this is in not normal.
Not so sure that one needs to be a has-been drip under pressure to work out that this is ominous.

Sorry, but Paddy-whacked is goneski.
- The club is morally bound to not play him.
- The AFL’s insurers won’t cover him.
(And if they will, then we’d like to talk to them about a business idea. It’s something involving anti-freeze sales to V-dub beetle and Porsche 911 drivers in Alaska. Fellow Saintsationalists might be surprised to know just how many of these people there are.)
- And most importantly, Paddy needs to look out for the rest of his life.



Amateurs:

I actually think our disposal around the grd has improved..our biggest problem atm is disposal into our inside 50

PS...gimme one of your guitars

You already have 5 , it would just clutter up your place & your wife would get cranky & don't to be responsible for that.

But four of his guitars are Ibanez's, so they don't count..........

4 of mine are Ephiphones so they probably don't count either.

My Epiphone Special ii was my first decent guitar - best beginners guitar on the market, by miles!

nothing wrong with Epi's

Amatuers! Seems no one has anything to match The Darth’s axe of choice, the Gibson Les Paul Studio guitar (Sith black edition)





Stuff to like:
- Despite the forecast, the sun came out in Can’tberra.



Oh, alright!
- We had a ruckman who got 22 possies, including 9 clearances and 2 goals, all at 73% efficiency. This earned him the highest AFL Fanciful Points score of any player on the ground.
No prizes for guessing which of our ruckmen that was not.
- Paddy didn’t get concussed again. (We think....................?).
- Neither did Hanners’. (We know.)
- Hanners’ has some talcum powder left for after the game. Next week’s opposition will appreciate that.



Stuff to like a lot:
(Thanks Gaz.)







Stuff not to like:
Think that's pretty bloody obvious.

Also......................
- Acres still not being played in the guts.
- No attempt to help Gresh with the De Boer tag.
- Seb
Just before half time Seb!!!!!!!!!!! Great play!!!!!!!! Takes it in the behind the middle and sprints away from his opponents. Turning defence into attack in the blink of an eye. Then doesn't even see Bruce all alone ~30m out!!!!!!!! Long bomb. The usual result.

F^^k

Undersized defence! Now it's Wilkie on Cameron. Still giving away size though. Nathan Brown...? :stinger:

But... the big problem is the bloody bomb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

How many times have we kicked to an outnumber for their defenders to take a relieving mark??? (How many times have they returned the favour when going forward? None, I'd reckon. )

At half time we've won the inside 50's 30-22, yet, marks inside 50... 9-5 their way! Delivery inside 50! Says it all. :sick:

I just can't believe the incompetent coaching!!! Keep doing the same disastrous thing. Keep getting the same disastrous result.

F^^k

Yeah. That's repeating what's already written above. But that's the theme...




The we are so bloody envious of you:

Well said Jigster. I had the pleasure of him coming to my house for breakfast when I lived up north. Really nice bloke & as you said humble ,open & friendly & he is a St.Kilda legend.

Congratulations:
President Trump has now made more than 10,000 false or misleading claims. (Mis-speaks?) The orange freak show is averaging 12 porkies a day since he's been Pres'.
Just wish our forward line was as, uhmmm, ‘proliferative’.



Ok, not strictly Saints stuff, but after Saturday, we all need a laugh.




Post of the week – unfortunately :

With lots of posts here about our luck it started me thinking along the lines of the great Curse of the Bambino, perhaps in trading Ian Stewart in after 1970 season to Richmond we invented the Curse of Stewart:

Since then :

1971 GF - 3 goals up at 3/4 time and lose to Hawthorn where Hawthron kick 7 goals in the last qtr, Keddie kicks 4 and we lose

1978 - miss out on the finals by half a game after a horror patch in the middle of the season. 1979 lose many good players and crash to the cellar for the next decade

1991- Finish 4th and play Geelong in a ripper game losing by 7 points . Elimination final where 5 and 6 also play off and one stays in. had beaten both WC and Hawthorn that season

1992 - Finally break finals drought but lose Spud in final 10 minutes with Achilles injury . Grant ( frawleys match up ) tears us a new on the next week

1993 - 3-0 win at Vic Park, Winmar walks out , season collapses

1997 - Best team coming into finals lose Vidovic in last game and Everett in first final. No ruckman for the rest of the finals campaign . Stands out in the GF where Rehn controls things. Loewe and Winmar suffer personal tragedies in the week leading up the GF

2004 - Travelling beautifully , changed plans mid season see us lose top 2 spot and then travel to Port for Prelim where Wanganeen kicks one out of his arse and Burgouyne lung sees us lose - Port win flag

2005 - 15 point up 3/4 time v Sydney premlim mcg and get smashed in last qtr. Hall whacks Maguire and kicks a goal earlier. Maguire done for game . Would have been 4 goals at 3/4 time which would have been different mind set

2009 - Dominate the season . Come GF wet and miserable day . not ideal. Roo injures quad in final training session. Dominate first half but kick 7.7 to 7.1 . Goal hits the post in 2nd quarter not called, Ablett kicks goal from subsequent clearance (11 point difference there ). Toe poke and lose

2010 - Get back into GF . Fisher coming out of defence after we hit the front doesn't see Kosi opposite wing by himself , goes down the line, Maxwell marks and leads to Cloke goal. Milne and the bounce of the ball...

And this is just the major stuff i can recall.

Injuries ruining careers of Cripps, Robbo , McCartin?

Trades : Greene, Perovic, Dietrich, Lockett, Ball, McEvoy,

Sure I've missed others .

in the same way as the Bambino curse please don't take this too seriously.
By the way it was broken 84 years later - Premiers 2050

Report on The Ted Report:
Word is there’s been a lot of feedback from ex-AFL players asking about another Ted Report. It’s whispered that money has been offered if there isn’t one. But not enough money. What we’re hearing is that once Ted finishes a special report that he’s doing for Clive Palmer, then he’ll turn his talents to preparing a Ted Report on Hanners’ and our salary cap. (That is, unless certain Ex-AFL players up their offer.)




Opposition player to bag:
Heath Shaw. The reason why, is obvious. (Always.)




Changes for next week vs E-girlies back at Linton Lodger Stadium:
IN:
- Brown. (Why was he even out???? That one even floored parquetry sainter. )
- Young (if not concussed).


OUTSKI:
- Kent (outski, like most of your shots on goal ).
- Jimmy W (injured).
- <the definite article still being deleted by mods> choaching ‘brains trust’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

Politics and being <the definitive article deleted by mods> Cho are the only fields in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.

We should have gotten rid of <the definite article deleted by mods> Cho over the off-season. In fact, we nearly did. <the definite article deleted by mods was actually hauled before the BOM. He was going down, till Finniso Marx (the previously unknown Marx brother) came to <the definite article deleted by Mods> Cholini’s defence. (That’s little Cho – Finniso Marx’s strange term of endearment.).

Curse you Finniso Marx!!!

F^^k

Here’s the footage that the word is we have obtained.
(Summary.)

(Full version.)


ON NOTICE:
- Long.
- Clark. (Though greater than 69% game time would help his cause.)


Badger’s ass (whatever that means? ):
Nathan Brown (vs. GWS). Wot duh!?! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!
Hind (next week vs. E-girlies).




The what does this even mean post of the week? :
Don't have one. Which is really disappointing.





Thoughts, Rodger? <swoon>

Thoughts, Johnny?

Thoughts, Saintsationalists?




- Aeon.

F^^k

Ok. We know he didn’t actually say that.

But why spoil the theme of this Saints' forward 50 entry incompetence/5 long years and nothing has changed rant?



.

[minneapolis]

I see your rant and raise you a tirade!

[Scollop]

Outstanding. Bravo...clapping hands emoji

I know you value feedback and it won't come as a surprise to you (unlike the feedback our fearless leader got from his captain), but you didn't mention rebuild once in the entire post. Or did you?

Y'know how Jack Steven asked them last year if they were rebuilding and they said 'No'?

In light of what's transpired injury wise to some of our best players and with most of them being senior leaders, do you reckon the club may have done a 180 degree backflip for 2019?

Is there a bit of the old 'playingplayersoutoftheirusualposition' and 'droppingplayersthatyou'dthinkarewalkupinclusions'...dare we say the word going on? That might explain the insanity of the gameplan perhaps. Do I win a prize?

[The Fireman]

thumbs up.

[Dis Believer]

I find the graphics you insert into the Flux report are triggering my epilepsy.

But I still like it a lot...………...

[guitars4]

Great stuff Fluxter

[loris]

My Saintsationalists,

Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.
For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.

Missing:
- Johnny.
- Rodger. <swoon>
- Lazar. (In intensive training to be ready to back up the Marshall. His presence was again missed.)
- Simon, aka the Troll Hunter, aka (not yet) BFTNorway.
- Loris. (Where are you? Has it been for the lack of Kinky Friedman quotes?)
- Mr Huggie Duck. (Should be posting back here, not posting over on the Big BS thing. Come home Huggie, all is forgiven.)
- Sainter K. (Where are you?)
- Jaffa Boy. (Arguing with a Concern Troll. Still.)
- Concern Troll. (Bemused by Jaffa Boy. Still.)
- tony12. (Teds’ mate from......we’re not sure where....? Just suddenly disappeared. And then just reappeared, but Ted disappeared. Confusing? And now the whisper is that tony12 is really toni12? Even more very confusing.)
- Jessica Whelan, Melissa Parke, Steve ‘touch feely’ Dixon, Wayne Kurnorth, Luke Creasey and Peter Mutton’s soul.

Happiness is a moving target.

F^^k

Ok. We know he didn’t actually say that.





.

Back Aeon sweetie.......... Kinky does it for me every time

[6621104]

and to paraphrase Einstein once more- only three things are infinite : the universe, human stupidity and the patience of a saints supporter (though this could be indistinguishable from the second thing!)

[saynta]

My Saintsationalists,

Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.
For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.

Missing:
- Johnny.
- Rodger. <swoon>
- Lazar. (In intensive training to be ready to back up the Marshall. His presence was again missed.)
- Simon, aka the Troll Hunter, aka (not yet) BFTNorway.
- Loris. (Where are you? Has it been for the lack of Kinky Friedman quotes?)
- Mr Huggie Duck. (Should be posting back here, not posting over on the Big BS thing. Come home Huggie, all is forgiven.)
- Sainter K. (Where are you?)
- Jaffa Boy. (Arguing with a Concern Troll. Still.)
- Concern Troll. (Bemused by Jaffa Boy. Still.)
- tony12. (Teds’ mate from......we’re not sure where....? Just suddenly disappeared. And then just reappeared, but Ted disappeared. Confusing? And now the whisper is that tony12 is really toni12? Even more very confusing.)
- Jessica Whelan, Melissa Parke, Steve ‘touch feely’ Dixon, Wayne Kurnorth, Luke Creasey and Peter Mutton’s soul.

Happiness is a moving target.

F^^k

Ok. We know he didn’t actually say that.





.

Back Aeon sweetie.......... Kinky does it for me every time

Glad to see you back posting Loris. Some of us wuz getting a tad anxious for you.

[WellardSaint]

My Saintsationalists,

Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.
For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.

Missing:
- Johnny.
- Rodger. <swoon>
- Lazar. (In intensive training to be ready to back up the Marshall. His presence was again missed.)
- Simon, aka the Troll Hunter, aka (not yet) BFTNorway.
- Loris. (Where are you? Has it been for the lack of Kinky Friedman quotes?)
- Mr Huggie Duck. (Should be posting back here, not posting over on the Big BS thing. Come home Huggie, all is forgiven.)
- Sainter K. (Where are you?)
- Jaffa Boy. (Arguing with a Concern Troll. Still.)
- Concern Troll. (Bemused by Jaffa Boy. Still.)
- tony12. (Teds’ mate from......we’re not sure where....? Just suddenly disappeared. And then just reappeared, but Ted disappeared. Confusing? And now the whisper is that tony12 is really toni12? Even more very confusing.)
- Jessica Whelan, Melissa Parke, Steve ‘touch feely’ Dixon, Wayne Kurnorth, Luke Creasey and Peter Mutton’s soul.

Happiness is a moving target.

F^^k

Ok. We know he didn’t actually say that.





.

Back Aeon sweetie.......... Kinky does it for me every time

You've been silent since late last year, glad to see you're back on this forum

[Dave McNamara]

Kinky does it for me every time

Thought so.





Welcome back Loris! Saynta is correct. People were missing you.

[AeonFlux]

Back Aeon sweetie.......... Kinky does it for me every time

Loris! The spy who came in from the cold! Welcome back honey.


(But now Rodger <swoon> has gone missing. Again. Loris, do you think Kinky would do it for him too? )

F^^k

Ok. We know he didn’t actually say that.

Oh, but he did.

And he'll say it again in future Flux Reports.

Regularly.


.

[Francis Urquhart]

Kinky does it for me every time

You may well think that, Loris. But I could not possibly comment.


Now Loris. What's to be done about our Saints and their incessant long bombing into the forward 50???

Some people have said that we should bring back that horrid woman, but that would only see us kicking out to the far right. Other people, say we should listen to that infernal 'liberal' monarch currently holed up in Buckingham Palace. But that damned fool of a man would just have us kicking the ball out to the far left instead. Useless!

Personally, I'm leaning towards getting Stamper to 'remove' the coach. And it would be an act of mercy, truly.

But what would you advise Loris?

F.U.