Rhyming Reports Round 12 onwards

[The Rhyming Saints]

Where's the Sainter mojo gone, far far away
Average teams drift along, good teams come to play
It's there for all to see we keep on passing back
Why can't we move it forward and have a bloody crack
Three disasters in a row that lack both smarts and pride
We are playing this great game like a very average side
It's time to turn things round, to reverse this losing streak
To play with heart and spirit starting from next week

[GSG]

The promo said we’ll be direct, we’ll be fast, in short this is IT.
Our team is better, they are keen and they are FIT.
12 rounds in and a top eight finish is not nearly NEAR
Ah well supporters sigh and say there always is next YEAR
And then we surely will be in the MIX
No matter that we mumbled this since 1966.

[WellardSaint]

From Pretty Woman movie soundtrack,
The King of Wishful Thinking

I'll get over you... I know I will
I'll pretend my team's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I am the king of wishful thinking

I refuse to give in to the Blues
That's not how it's going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't want to let you see... no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself...

I will never, never shed a tear for you
I'll get over you

If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself...

[WellardSaint]

The Doggies hurt us,
Made us cry
The Saints were grateful for the bye.
It gave them time to re-assess,
And work out why they're such a mess.

Some drove north, to Byron Bay-
Surfing clears the head, they say.
Minch went down on bended knee
Emmi cried true tears of glee

The lads regrouped, climbed on the jet
"Let's hit those Crows, respect we'll get"

We kept Sloane quiet, but twas all for nought
The fumbling Saints kept getting caught.

Seb ran hard, got 39,
But slipped and fell time after time
The other Saints just shook the head
And wondered why they'd got out of bed.
But Bruce is better for that spell
He needed time in the VFL

Skunk- that's Membrey, that's his name
He ran in circles, and just looked lame

Longer was solid, like a tree
And moved about as quick-ly

There'll be no more wins
From this sad mob
Richo- find another job

[The Rhyming Saints]

Round 13

We put the Roos to the sword
What a damn fine move to put Jack up forward
It was great to get our mojo back
To work together and have a crack
Onya boys as a team stay strong
We love to hear you sing our song

[WellardSaint]

Friday night at Etihad
Some Sainters thought it would be bad
"Jake is sore, and may not play!"
The gang got on a knee to pray

It seems the prayers had been heard
"Jake's good to go!" was the word
But young Jack Steele was told to rest
The coaches said "below his best"

We played with 'Dare' we hit them hard
Our Milkshake brought them to the yard
JB had 2 disallowed
To the chagrin of the crowd

We hit half-time so far ahead,
Their coach- the Kray- was filled with dread
But after we seemed to relax
And put the cue back in the rack

They came back strongly in the last
Lucky too much time had passed
We could have put them to the sword
But at least we were up on the board

An ugly win,
but all the same
It's nice to bank another game

A win next week is on the cards
The boys just have to do hard yards
Ensure the ball's betwixt the sticks
And monster those damn Gold Coast P***ks

[Jacks Back]

With apologies to John Lennon (and now also Yoko Ono)

Imagine if we could kick straight
It's easy if you try
No points or on-the-fulls
Above us only blue sky
Imagine all the supporters
Cheering for today... Ow-en...

Imagine winning the flag
It isn't hard to do
Rooey booting the winning goal
Our one cup would become two
Imagine all the Saintly people
Living life in peace... You...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no Paddy concussions
I wonder if you can
No need for the Paddy v Petracca talk
A Saintsational brotherhood of man
Imagine all the keyboard cowboys
Sharing all the world... You...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

[SemperFidelis]

Magnificent effort JB!

[WellardSaint]

The lads came to Etihad
Late Sunday eve
To get some respect
And for fans to believe;

The Suns were without
The little bald shite
We were all hopeful of
a win for the night

From the start we were scrappy,
made countless mistakes
The crowd would just groan
and yell "Oh For F** sakes!"

And the crowd was threadbare
Under sixteen inside
Not many to witness
the regaining of pride

The team, true to form
kept missing those shots
When they're aiming at training
do they practice it lots?

But despite all their fumbles
Got a few goals ahead
And at the end of the night
Put the damn game to bed.

Twas an ugly old win
Not one for the books
Next we travel to Perth
For Ross Lyon's sooks

Bring your A-game this time
of this we all plead
Don't bomb it in long
Hit a man on the lead

When you line up for goal
Ignore the shot clock
Just bang through the big ones
Let the stadium rock

Bring home those 4 points
and make the fans proud
Let the mighty saints roar
and sing that song loud

[The Rhyming Saints]

Eclipsed the suns, we are in the eight
September beckons if we start kicking straight

Clear the mind and kick through the ball
Straight through the big sticks that stand so tall

Next it's time to conquer the west
And prove our club is amongst the best

Can we do it, of course we can
We're all members of the St Kilda clan

[bigcarl]

Eclipsed the suns, we are in the eight
September beckons if we start kicking straight

Clear the mind and kick through the ball
Straight through the big sticks that stand so tall

Next it's time to conquer the west
And prove our club is amongst the best

Can we do it, of course we can
We're all members of the St Kilda clan

Very good

[WellardSaint]

Eclipsed the suns, we are in the eight
September beckons if we start kicking straight

Clear the mind and kick through the ball
Straight through the big sticks that stand so tall

Next it's time to conquer the west
And prove our club is amongst the best

Can we do it, of course we can
We're all members of the St Kilda clan

Very good

Mine is a whole lot better
Even if I do say so myself
Mine has more rhythm and is structured far better.
I'm really quite talented at this

[Joe Bloggs]

It's not a competition.

[WellardSaint]

It's not a competition.

Yes it is.
And I'm currently ladder leader with daylight to the next guy.
Undefeated and loaded with talent

[Joe Bloggs]

It's not a competition.

Yes it is.
And I'm currently ladder leader with daylight to the next guy.
Undefeated and loaded with talent

You're miles ahead of everyone

[WellardSaint]

It's not a competition.

Yes it is.
And I'm currently ladder leader with daylight to the next guy.
Undefeated and loaded with talent

You're miles ahead of everyone

Thank you kind sir.
The cheque's in the mail

[The Rhyming Saints]

Round 15

At quarter time I got a text from me mate
We need to lift and fu...kick straight
Good things come to those who wait
We fought real hard and snatched it late
We all know patience is a St Kilda trait
So keep the faith as we ride to our fate

[Numpty]

When I find myself in tweets o’ trouble,
Mother Russia comes to me,
Speaking words of wisdom...
"Covfefe!"

When I find my team in heaps o’ trouble,
Father Peter Summars comes to me,
Speaking words of wisdom...
"At least we’re no longer coached by crooked Rossy!"

#makingRossygrateagain

[Jacks Back]

We pantsed the tigers early
and they couldn't catch us late
We've now beaten two top teams
and are ensconced in the eight
Next Friday night
we're on the big stage
We'll beat those dug cheats
When St Kilda comes of age

[White Winmar]

Tigerland, we're really terrible
We're from tiger land
In any weather you will see us pissed on gin
Useless as foreskins
If we're behind, then never mind
'Cause when it matters we can't win
Oh we're from Tigerland
We're always beaten when that final siren goes
Like the tigers since '82
They stink like they're poo
Oh they're from tiger
Yellow streaks down their backs
Oh they're from Tigerland!

[The Rhyming Saints]

Round 16
Tribute from the Monkees I'm a believer

I thought love was only true in fairy tales
It seems the more I gave the less I got
Life was out to get me
That's the way it seems
Disappointed haunted all my dreams

Then I joined the Saints
Now I'm a believer
Not a shade of doubt in my mind
I'm a Saint
I'm a believer
I'll never leave ya till I die

I thought luck was more or less a given thing
Meant for someone else and not for me
What's the use of trying
All you get is pain
When I needed sunshine I got rain

Then I joined the Saints
Now I'm a believer
Not a shade of doubt in my mind
I'm a Saint
I'm a believer
I'll never leave ya till I die

[The Rhyming Saints]

Round 17

We didn't come to play and copped a right royal floggin
Scrambled minds and thoughts, each player clear your noggin

One impressive quarter doesn't make a season
Why are we up and down, we need to find the reason

It's time to lift together and show our minds are tough
Cos when we find our A game, our best is good enough

I always cheer our players, they always give their best
Even when inconsistency puts this to the test

[Jacks Back]

Round 17

We didn't come to play and copped a right royal floggin
Scrambled minds and thoughts, each player clear your noggin

One impressive quarter doesn't make a season
Why are we up and down, we need to find the reason

It's time to lift together and show our minds are tough
Cos when we find our A game, our best is good enough

I always cheer our players, they always give their best
Even when inconsistency puts this to the test

Like

[The Rhyming Saints]

Round 18

A learning experience from the bloods so tough
Around the contest we're not yet good enough

Another question that may seem obtuse
Are we guilty of football over use

We need to be cleaner and a more direct team
If we are to compete with the best and live the dream

[The Rhyming Saints]

Round 19
We played with spirit from the start
Till a late power surge broke our heart

If we are to have the success we yearn
There's a simple lesson we need to learn

From the tallest ruck to the smallest rover
The game ain't over until it's over