disjointed statements- article

[saintbrat]

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/s ... 6912114020

maybe it's the way I read it- but this just seems a list of statements rather than a clear focus article

St Kilda’s 145-point loss might have signalled crisis under Scott Watters, but it’s a grip reality for new coach Alan Richardson

is there a typo in the heading?

not disputing the statements it just doesn't seem to read clearly.

[gringo]

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/s ... 6912114020

maybe it's the way I read it- but this just seems a list of statements rather than a clear focus article

St Kilda’s 145-point loss might have signalled crisis under Scott Watters, but it’s a grip reality for new coach Alan Richardson

is there a typo in the heading?

not disputing the statements it just doesn't seem to read clearly.

Joint dis read thing part shoe horse falafel hair... It's like avant garde poets have taken over the copy writing. I like it.

[thequarry]

I don't think the Herald Sun site editors rate their readership's reading capacity very highly - what they tend to do is break down every sentence and turn them into separate "paragraphs" in the layout, presumably to make each sentence easier to take in. Hence, a lot of the sentences here should be in the same paragraph but it's all been split up to there's no consistent tone.

[felix]

Ita a grip reality .should read its a grim reality . Makes more sense.

[twirlyhair]

GW is the only decent football writer at the HS. Love this....
While fortunes will turn only slowly the mood has perceptibly shifted.

Where Saints fans were previously directed to look into the abyss, at the black hole left by the relentless crusade, now they see the horizon.

They see a learned coach, a club determined to find its place and a united sense of purpose.

They see Billings and Dunstan and Acres and Curren.

And they trust it’s enough to sustain through the dark hours before the next dawn.

[felix]

What about this one same article ...

"On his arrival he found two groups.

The experienced leaders. The stars of the club. The men who’d been so close."

Isn't that 3 groups . ? Terrible article all round .

[Mackaysaint]

What about this one same article ...

"On his arrival he found two groups.

The experienced leaders. The stars of the club. The men who’d been so close."

Isn't that 3 groups . ? Terrible article all round .

I actually think that is 3 sentences describing the one group, I think the author did not quite finish that thought.
I also think it was an attempt at highlighting the hole in our list - that we only have pensioners and kids and no middle tier - then he had a rethink - "Hey - this is meant to be a positive piece" - so he (or the editor) deleted the remainder of that section - possibly a whole paragraph

[saintbrat]

so it wasn't just the way I was feeling when reading it..

BTW I have heard it said that the herald Sun base their style of presentation on reaching reading at of 8 --- and above

where as the Age aim for reading age 14-- don't quote me....

[twirlyhair]

What about this one same article ...

"On his arrival he found two groups.

The experienced leaders. The stars of the club. The men who’d been so close."

Isn't that 3 groups . ? Terrible article all round .

Interesting that you find it to be a terrible article. Why is that?