Dan Warna's 4 game Match Report

[Dan Warna]

Game 1, Essendon V Adelaide.

Essendon came to play. With courage, inspiration, dare and dash they matched it with adelaide. going Toe to Toe the first quarter was an enthralling affair where anyone could have emerged victorious.

At Quarter time with the job done. Essendon went home.

Game 2. Western Dogs v Geelong.

Sadly no injuries. All the Footscray faithful turned up in their number, he parked his car with his 18 mates at the G after driving for 7 days from Melbourne using 4 different wheels he stole before the journey and a sat nav that wasn't plugged in because the cigarette lighter was being used to light cigarettes. By couragiously syphoning petrol from random cars in the long trek from Footscray to the City he arrived, then passed out drunk and missed an otherwise enthralling game.

Game 3. Carlton v Brisbane.

Again a game where no one wanted to see a winner. Brisbane has enough premierships this decade thank you and Carlton can't buy one any more.

the highlight on the game was Chris Judd's kung Fu pressure point ninja moves.

when asked 'did you eye gouge rishchicky?' Judd replied outraged "im not an eye gouger, i tried to use pressure point tactics to give him an anuerism, im not some dirty bogan western suburbs thug, im a classy carlton murderer now'.

the AFL said that had he geniunely been trying to kill him he would have got off, but given it was clearly a fabrication to cover the fact he's a dirty eye gouger he can have 2 weeks and be thankful'.

in other news Judd injured his back carrying the carlton blues and everyone wondered why gibbs went as a no.1 draft pick'.

Game 3. St Kilda v Collingwood.

St Kilda terminated Collingwood. Many collingwood supporters stayed till the end but these were the ones who were geniunely unable to read the scoreboard, were too drunk to move or scrounging hte bins looking for left over food.

Many supporters remarked at Daisy Thomas' amazing evasive skills, St Kilda players got no where near thomas physically due to his baulking twisting and turning. THe only thing that Collingwood fans lamented was that during his time baulking, turning and dodging he never had the ball.

At the end of the game Collingwood fans saluted Anthony rocca for his many years of service to the Collingwood club at CHF adn the female bovines of the Collingwood community farm, and hoped he enjoyed living out his days at Melbourne Zoo Gorilla enclosure.

Travis Cloke proved to be by far the most talented, skilled and mobile of the current crop of cloke brothers playing football, however sadly he proved that he is better at driving drunk than said sport.

Medhurt lamented his days gone by at fremantle where he could get a kick with the football and Anthony proved to be every bit the quality FF that chris tarrent was.

Micky Malthouse also discovered that when you play all 18 players in your defencive 50 that scoring can be difficult.

In the end, st kilda managed to cheat their way to a 30 point win carried by dirty tactics such as hard work, discipline, running (and by running i mean not away from the police) and scoring goals. a dirty dirty end

[Zippy]

Gold!!!

Carlton choking out couldn't have happened to a nicer club.