The greatest match preview ever written

Selhurst Saint · Fri 17 Apr 2009 2:22pm

Matty T wrote:ah settle down you lot, Shane writes an article like this every week. It called looking on the bright side. I think St Byron got it though.
Every week at dockerland a similar match preview is posted and the site is flooded with supporters from the opposition team from that week.

Delusional, No. Hopefull, yes.

If you guys can be so confidant with one flag in over 100 years then I can live in hope too.

See you lot at the dome tomorrow night, I'll be the guy in purple!

The only difference between pink and purple is the grip. How appropriate!

Banger2Plugger · Fri 17 Apr 2009 2:30pm

Honestly,
i thought I was reading an advert for next years Gay Mardi Gra

BAM! (shhhh) · Fri 17 Apr 2009 2:33pm

Before getting two worked up, realise that you're reading the work of someone who requires regular surgery to keep his tongue from getting permanently lodged in his cheek.

Having a quick scan at some of his other work, the match report from the Adelaide game is probably more entertaining than the game itself was:
http://www.dockerland.com/match-report/ ... laide.html

Matty T · Post: # 725262Post **Matty T** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 2:35pm

SaintWodonga wrote:Total rubbish and lies.

By the way the have the worst jumper in the AFL. White and purple anchor... What about their other 2 colours?

It's the clash jumper.

Something like the lovely yellow you guys had a few years back!

stinger · Post: # 725266Post **stinger** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 2:48pm

first two lines was enough for me.......unadulterated crap......

stinger · Post: # 725268Post **stinger** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 2:50pm

Matty T wrote:
SaintWodonga wrote:Total rubbish and lies.

By the way the have the worst jumper in the AFL. White and purple anchor... What about their other 2 colours?
It's the clash jumper.

Something like the lovely yellow you guys had a few years back!

worst team...worst jumper......purple......

...stolen the sisters colours...or the popes ffs.....worst coach......and definately the worst team song......makes me wanna sick up.....

cowboy18 · Post: # 725271Post **cowboy18** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 2:55pm

stinger wrote:
Matty T wrote:
SaintWodonga wrote:Total rubbish and lies.

By the way the have the worst jumper in the AFL. White and purple anchor... What about their other 2 colours?
It's the clash jumper.

Something like the lovely yellow you guys had a few years back!

worst team...worst jumper......purple...... ...stolen the sisters colours...or the popes ffs.....worst coach......and definately the worst team song......makes me wanna sick up.....

ahem. not so fast on the jumper.

i'm not a huge purple fan but... teal?

saintlee · Post: # 725272Post **saintlee** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 2:56pm

cowboy18 wrote:
stinger wrote:
Matty T wrote:
SaintWodonga wrote:Total rubbish and lies.

By the way the have the worst jumper in the AFL. White and purple anchor... What about their other 2 colours?
It's the clash jumper.

Something like the lovely yellow you guys had a few years back!

worst team...worst jumper......purple...... ...stolen the sisters colours...or the popes ffs.....worst coach......and definately the worst team song......makes me wanna sick up.....

ahem. not so fast on the jumper.

i'm not a huge purple fan but... teal?

I'm not to sure brown and gold is much better!

eaglesrock · Post: # 725274Post **eaglesrock** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 2:58pm

st.byron wrote:I registered as Visiting Saint on their site and posted :

Hi Shane,

thanks for the entertaining match preview. You should get a job with the West with quality incisive footy writing like that.
I noticed that you spent some time elucidating the Dockers champs who are going to tear up the Saints on Saturday night. You mentioned Hasleby, Pavlich ("glamour forward" - noice) and big Aaron. You also threw in that B&W reject Tarrant as an example of a Freo star, but you stopped there. Could that be because the Dockers don't have any other genuine stars or are you just trying to keep it quiet?
For a bit more fan-site cross fertilisation you can also read about the genuine affection your match preview has elicited from the Saints faithful at :

http://www.saintsational.com/forum/view ... hp?t=51241

You made the number one mistake when posting on dockerland.you criticised freo.
I give your post about an hour before being deleted.Shane can dish it out,but can't take it.
Heres hoping you guys belt them by even more than you clobbered us .
Don't waste time posting at Dickheadland,if Shane doesn't like it,it is gone in a flash.

Matty T · Post: # 725277Post **Matty T** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 3:06pm

if you post moronic tripe, as most eagles fans do, it will be deleted.

If you stir the pot a little, it will stay.

Now back to the chardonnay with you!

Armoooo · Post: # 725285Post **Armoooo** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 3:21pm

I understand that it is all tongue and cheek but that was really not funny at all...

way too long and repetative...

The only laugh I got was from this line

Instead of flooding Fremantle's star forwards

I understand Pavlich being called a star even though he has been rubbish this season but surely you wouldn't want any other Freo forward playing for St Kilda...

saintbob · Post: # 725292Post **saintbob** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 3:33pm

Cairnsman wrote:That is the best preview I have ever read. Seriously.

I'm with you Cairnsman, very very good!!!!

Richter · Post: # 725297Post **Richter** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 3:39pm

saintbob wrote:
Cairnsman wrote:That is the best preview I have ever read. Seriously.
I'm with you Cairnsman, very very good!!!!

+1!

Cairnsman · Post: # 725305Post **Cairnsman** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 3:47pm

Yeah the best p1ss take I've read for ages. The bloke who wrote it is probably the type of person you'd love standing near at the footy. Good one-liners and very witty. Makes the punters laugh and that's a good thing.

st.byron · Post: # 725324Post **st.byron** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 4:12pm

eaglesrock wrote:
You made the number one mistake when posting on dockerland.you criticised freo.
I give your post about an hour before being deleted.Shane can dish it out,but can't take it.
Heres hoping you guys belt them by even more than you clobbered us .
Don't waste time posting at Dickheadland,if Shane doesn't like it,it is gone in a flash.

Amazingly it's still there. Maybe it's because I called the thread Shane's Excellent Match Preview. Yesterday I posted a thread querying a report that Sandilands was injured and it was gone within thirty minutes.

Marcus1232 · Post: # 725331Post **Marcus1232** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 4:21pm

I thinks its very creative a good read to have a laugh at.

I also enjoy there power rankings

hmmmmmm · Post: # 725367Post **hmmmmmm** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 5:57pm

I had to comment here. After Shane deleting many of my postings for no apparent reason I put up a post querying whether Shane may have had some sand up his Kyber. I was banned from the Dockerland site![quote="st.byron"][quote="eaglesrock"]

You made the number one mistake when posting on dockerland.you criticised freo.
I give your post about an hour before being deleted.Shane can dish it out,but can't take it.
Heres hoping you guys belt them by even more than you clobbered us .
Don't waste time posting at Dickheadland,if Shane doesn't like it,it is gone in a flash.[/quote]

Amazingly it's still there. Maybe it's because I called the thread Shane's Excellent Match Preview. Yesterday I posted a thread querying a report that Sandilands was injured and it was gone within thirty minutes.[/quote]

desertsaint · Fri 17 Apr 2009 6:18pm

cowboy18 wrote:
Freo are natural enemies for the average saints fan - they have made an art form of taking over our hard won status as a club where individuals are revered, management is wayward, harmony is fleeting and incompetence rules.

Add to that the well know history of on field anomalies (well documented in various places) and there's a good basis for some rivalry.

AND... some folk take their footy a little seriously.

It all makes sense CB18 - but i don't want a rivalry with a team that exists purely as a concrete boot (anchor) to ground the eagle! I just want us to smash them into the oblivion they deserve!

St DAC · Post: # 725380Post **St DAC** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 6:43pm

Get a grip you guys. That was a hilarious piss-take, one he does for each Dockers match. Great fun to read, and certainly not to be taken seriously at all.

Shane could be the Iraqi Communications Minister with that prose!

Assuming we win comfortably he'll do a post-match review blaming the water boys, trainers, umpires, the moon being in Venus, and the AFL executive for the conspiracy to rob them of a win. Great stuff indeed.

Ghost Like · Post: # 725384Post **Ghost Like** » Fri 17 Apr 2009 7:15pm

Enjoyed the read immensely. I wish I had something like that to read during the 80s, parts of the 90s and early into the new millenium about the Saints. Good on him, he recognises where they are at and is endeavouring to relieve what would be an overwhelming situation to a passionate, blinkered and frustrated Docker supporter. I think I will continue to read his previews before every Freo game.

Fairly certain Ross Lyon and the players would also get a giggle out of it.

hollers · Post: # 725517Post **hollers** » Sat 18 Apr 2009 4:27am

I am an absolutely passionate Docker but let me tell you I whole heartedly agree with your comments re Shane Richmond the bloke who writes those articles and runs that site. Those articles are symptomatic of victim mentality he creates on that site.. yes they may partly be in jest but there is a section (only a section) of dockers supporters who have this mindset of the club being victims and he feeds that culture with these ridiculous srticles. If you ever dare get on the site an question his opinion or question the coach or the club he barrs you. From accounts of people who know him he is an absolute knob and I think it is a shame he is running the clubs fan site. Dont take it personally..most Freo people are good blokes unlike the evils up the road!

Griggsy · Post: # 725518Post **Griggsy** » Sat 18 Apr 2009 4:58am

dockerland just screams 'respect me' don't it? taking the piss or not, it does no good for the image of the club

It looks like the Collingwood of the West.

Griggsy · Post: # 725519Post **Griggsy** » Sat 18 Apr 2009 5:20am

stinger wrote:
Matty T wrote:
SaintWodonga wrote:Total rubbish and lies.

By the way the have the worst jumper in the AFL. White and purple anchor... What about their other 2 colours?
It's the clash jumper.

Something like the lovely yellow you guys had a few years back!

worst team...worst jumper......purple...... ...stolen the sisters colours...or the popes ffs.....worst coach......and definately the worst team song......makes me wanna sick up.....

when did you actually get a chance to hear it?

The song is irrellivant if it's never used. Maybe they will pay for a new one when it is needed.

Moccha · Post: # 725967Post **Moccha** » Sat 18 Apr 2009 11:30pm

Time to log onto Dockerland and have a bit of fun at their expense. I'm sure they won't mind

battye · Post: # 725982Post **battye** » Sat 18 Apr 2009 11:49pm

Oh come on guys, don't take that article so seriously

It looks like a few people got it - it was all satirical. Obviously the writer knew Freo had a snowflakes chance, so he decided to write something which would give the Freo supporters something to smile about.

The greatest match preview ever written

A docker who agrees