I wish I was a SUPPORTER, not a FANATIC.

[OneEyedSainter77]

Does anybody else hate themself at the footy?

I do. Football possesses me in a way that nothign else does. I just become this angry, frustrated, passionate person that yells a lot, swears a lot and occassionally yells out "Pathetic quarter St.Kilda".

Anyway, the guy standing behind me tonight saw me losing control a few times and said to me "Mate, its just a game."

And he's goddam right. It IS just a game. Why should I feel obliged to care SO much about it. If we lose, I cop crap off my mates and at work, but I don't have to worry about the media saying stuff about me, or coming onto a forum and reading everyone who "supports" the team I play for slagging me off and calling for my head.

I am a mere Supporter. Well, I wish I was. I came to the realisation tonight that my problem at the footy is how much it means to me. WHy does it mean that much to me? Because I want to see my team win the premiership. Every year, there is some lingering hope that we will win the premiership, but its really strong in some years, like this year and the last few years. It is physically hard to cope with.

This intense feelign of regret and despair after every wasted year - tonight I saw the makings of another one. Yes I know it is only round three and there is plenty of time to go but look at the facts - we fell over the line against the swans, beat an ordinary Carlton side by only forty points and were thrashed tonight. That doesn't exactly scream "Premiership side!" now does it?

BUT, then I think to myself, WHY? WHY? WHY does it have to ALWAYS be this way? Why can't I just be someone who only barracks for the saints, not even go to every game, just get excited if we win and shrug it off when we lose. I can't shrug it off. IK can't just think to myself "Oh well, just another loss for us."

Sometimes I wish my father never let me support St.Kilda because now I'm in too deep, I can't ever get out. I'm stuck as this person who is more in love with football than anything else. And even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop loving footy and loving the saints.

Now I know a lot of you are probably thinking how pathetic I am and how I should just tear up my membership but I need to get some perspective. I have just become engaged and have a future to worry about. Once we are married and have kids, I'd like to take them to footy games, but NOT if I'm gogin to be like this. I want to be one of the dads saying to the guy in front of me "Mate, could you tone it down please, I don't want my kids to hear that." Granted, this is still a few years away but I need to act now.

I'd like to be able to just go to every game, and enjoy it. Just watch it and try to focus on the good things and when it gets bad and we play crap, to just accept it. I go to the footy and expect us to win every game. Perspective again. That's NOT going to happen. I have to accept that sometimes we're just not good enough. Like tonight, I realised it on the way home but its too late to change.

I will always be this angry, frustrated furious person at the football, and that's detrimental to me and the people around me.

I think I need a good night's sleep, I'm very upset after what was a terrible game, and have been up for almost 21 hours straight now.

[LENNY LEADS THE WAY]

I hear u mate oh boy do i hear u i could've written that word for word myself

[widereceiver]

We're all hurting tonight.

[choowy]

i am with you on this. word for word.

A long weekend coming up.
________
Medical Marijuana Patient

[thequarry]

I'm sure as freak in.

[jackal]

personally I prefer to watch footy without St. Kilda playing. I'm too concerned about winning that I miss the spectical. Only time I'm comfortable is when we are 10 goals up in the 2nd half, until then....

[Enrico_Misso]

Understand where you are coming from.
Too annoyed to go to sleep.
My wife kept telling me to keep calm during that hideous second half.

I don't mind losing if I feel we have had a dinkum go.
Many times I clapped them off Moorabbin after a loss in the 80s because I knew they had tried their guts out.

Just felt we had far too many passengers tonight.

[esaint66]

Mate your post has summed up everyones and your wown feelings in one.

I dont think there should be a need for any other thread - they are worthless in comparison to this.

Someone should send this to the boys to fire them up. Because im sure as hell RL doesnt do it.

We need another sheldon or alves at the helm.

I was ready to rip many bulldogs supporters head off in that last half especially this girl jumping up and down and screaming - i cant take crap like that. Suffered to long and on to numerous occasions.

[Richter]

Best, most passionate post of the night.

Fully know how you feel.

[esaint66]

Ive always said that you can only say you feel the same as someone if you are feeling the same thing/s at the sametime/s.

I can vouch for everyone on this forum OES 77....... WE KNOW HOW YOU FEEL

[wallbanger]

Exactly. Well written.

[Saints Premiers 2008]

i agrr entirely...it is way more than a game

i wake up...doing my assignment...feel flat and shizen thinking about last night...

[fonz_#15]

Does anybody else hate themself at the footy?

I do. Football possesses me in a way that nothign else does. I just become this angry, frustrated, passionate person that yells a lot, swears a lot and occassionally yells out "Pathetic quarter St.Kilda".

Anyway, the guy standing behind me tonight saw me losing control a few times and said to me "Mate, its just a game."

And he's goddam right. It IS just a game. Why should I feel obliged to care SO much about it. If we lose, I cop crap off my mates and at work, but I don't have to worry about the media saying stuff about me, or coming onto a forum and reading everyone who "supports" the team I play for slagging me off and calling for my head.

I am a mere Supporter. Well, I wish I was. I came to the realisation tonight that my problem at the footy is how much it means to me. WHy does it mean that much to me? Because I want to see my team win the premiership. Every year, there is some lingering hope that we will win the premiership, but its really strong in some years, like this year and the last few years. It is physically hard to cope with.

This intense feelign of regret and despair after every wasted year - tonight I saw the makings of another one. Yes I know it is only round three and there is plenty of time to go but look at the facts - we fell over the line against the swans, beat an ordinary Carlton side by only forty points and were thrashed tonight. That doesn't exactly scream "Premiership side!" now does it?

BUT, then I think to myself, WHY? WHY? WHY does it have to ALWAYS be this way? Why can't I just be someone who only barracks for the saints, not even go to every game, just get excited if we win and shrug it off when we lose. I can't shrug it off. IK can't just think to myself "Oh well, just another loss for us."

Sometimes I wish my father never let me support St.Kilda because now I'm in too deep, I can't ever get out. I'm stuck as this person who is more in love with football than anything else. And even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop loving footy and loving the saints.

Now I know a lot of you are probably thinking how pathetic I am and how I should just tear up my membership but I need to get some perspective. I have just become engaged and have a future to worry about. Once we are married and have kids, I'd like to take them to footy games, but NOT if I'm gogin to be like this. I want to be one of the dads saying to the guy in front of me "Mate, could you tone it down please, I don't want my kids to hear that." Granted, this is still a few years away but I need to act now.

I'd like to be able to just go to every game, and enjoy it. Just watch it and try to focus on the good things and when it gets bad and we play crap, to just accept it. I go to the footy and expect us to win every game. Perspective again. That's NOT going to happen. I have to accept that sometimes we're just not good enough. Like tonight, I realised it on the way home but its too late to change.

I will always be this angry, frustrated furious person at the football, and that's detrimental to me and the people around me.

I think I need a good night's sleep, I'm very upset after what was a terrible game, and have been up for almost 21 hours straight now.

similar to the words of my father, a man who bled st.kilda, ate, breathed, slept you name it..

he is in his late 50's now and swears he will never watch another saints game until the day he dies, he told me he can't deal with having his heart broken anymore.

sounds pathetic, and my father is far from a sensitive man, but this club is a rollercoaster ride, and some people can only handle so much.

[matrix]

its hard to be a sainter huh?
yet i still wear some sort of saints gear everyday at work, win lose or draw.
propability says our time will come.....one day, surely
...and until that day no matter what the feeling is in my stomach, and no matter what im thinking.....ill be wearing red white and black.

weirdly i play for a b grade footy team.....and we wear the dogs colours.
it will be mentally straining for me to wear them when i run out on the field today

[super dooper]

Great post, agreed 100%

Its never "just a game", its more than that to the true supporter, otherwise we still wouldnt be hurting this morning when we wake up and writtin these messages.

All teams have losses like that and it hurts

All we can to is bide our time like all other times, and when it does come oh how sweet it will be!! That is what gets us through, well me anyway

[RoseInOz]

I'm in too deep, I can't ever get out. I'm stuck as this person who is more in love with football than anything else. And even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop loving footy and loving the saints.

I can't believe what happened last night. I feel like I am in grieving. This post sums up how we all feel. I hope that the coaches and players read this forum and realise how much they hurt us all tonight.

[i_luv_nick_riewoldt]

yep i didnt even want to come online this week as it would bring up hurtful memories of last night. My housemate had the nerve to write up of the score on our house whiteboard. I still havent wipped it off thinking i dont want to turn out to be a sore loser. So now i just have to suck it up like the rest of the sainters.

[saintsrus]

Great post mate, thats what so good about most of our supporters and this site is such good therapy as we are all feeling the same

[marksnsparks]

Hey, lets keep it positive! Remember what Geelong's win loss ratio was after round 5 last year?

I'm convinced this maybe a season defining moment for the boys. They'll be hurting too, and the anger might see them through the rest of the season undefeated.

Mind you. I am English so when it comes to sport I'm always hopelessly optimistic and constantly let down....I was dreaming of repeating 1966 long b4 I found the Saints!

[OneEyedSainter77]

Thanks for all your support, I wasn't expecting so many people to agree with me, but on re-reading my post, it does sum up how a majority would feel.

Anyway, I just want to say that after 24 hours, the loss is not really hurting anymore, but I have this feeling of emptiness that makes all the other games this weekend seem meaningless. I don't care to look at the ladder, or the scores of the other matches, even to check my tips or supercoach stats so far. I was trying to get scores yesterday but my heart wasn't in it.

With the horrendous draw coming up, part of me doesn't care about what happens the next three weeks or so, btu another part of me is saying "Remember Geelong last year?" The skilled stadium game where they lost to North and started 2-3, everyone was disappointed, the coach's job was coming into question, everyone was wondering if their team was EVER going to live up to hype.

BANG! A thrashing of Richmond, a fifteen match winning streak and eventually a premiership. It doesn't have to happen the same way but who's to say it can't happen.

This is why I wanted to have this not-care-so-much attitude. So for once I can go into a season, nto EXPECTING a premiership, not even wanting it, but just wanting to see some good football.

As a St.Kilda supporter, you get used to not making it to the big stage and not winning the premiership, some may call it embracing mediocrity; I call it accepting reality. History might suggest we may never be good enough. but surely one year, its got to happen, and just thinking about the possiblity is what make me continue to - if you like - waste my time pursuing this dream.

It honestly is sickening when you take the world into perspective how much something so meaningless as twenty-two blokes dressed in ski jumpers, booting a dead cow around can mean to someone.

[Trunch]

That was the post I needed. I feel the same way. I dragged myself out of the house to go to the comedy festival last night in an attempt to change my mood. Normally I would of watched the footy on T.V. No newspaper reading this weekend, no Sunday Footy show. I too wish I didn't care. No matter what I do my focus returns to the game. It burns me every minute of the day.

I tell myself that is not a weakness of character to blindly follow and hang your hopes/dreams with 22 players in game you have no control over. I feel it to be a charitable and pure thing to do. To give and devote so much of yourself to a team. To put your trust in others not to hurt you and break your heart.

We have a great deal of control and choice in our lives. If we don't like our job we look for another one. Don't like the town we live in, we move. Don't like the person we are in a relationship with, go your separate ways. However we must give up control in some parts of lives to become pure and human. After all we are not machines. This is where St.Kilda comes in. We don't just follow the Saints because we take a passing interest in football. We don't have a choice. We are St.Kilda Football Club.

Know that you are a better person because of your ability to place your passion and trust in the hands of a team that you have no control over. This charity, love, passion and devotion will make the one day when it all goes our way all the more worth while.

Thanks again for your post and the therapy.

[jill]

Couldn't agree more - a great article that summed up what it's like to be a passionate, true-believer.

[bigred]

similar to the words of my father, a man who bled st.kilda, ate, breathed, slept you name it..

he is in his late 50's now and swears he will never watch another saints game until the day he dies, he told me he can't deal with having his heart broken anymore.

sounds pathetic, and my father is far from a sensitive man, but this club is a rollercoaster ride, and some people can only handle so much.

And I bet the current umpiring would help a lot.

I can hardly watch ANY game of football atm...Its a freakin joke and I think that the AFL are quickly attempting to steal the soul of the game...

[fugazi]

spot on....I've even tried NLP to reduce the backlash of dissapointment...I've got a deal with my mind that when we finally win a premiership footy will drop back to an interest rather than a compulsive obsessive disorder!

[perfectionist]

Ah, masochism, where would we be without it?