Christmas and New Year from - AFL.com

[saintbrat]

A very footy Christmas
3:49 PM Mon 24 December, 2007

By Gary Walsh

Exclusive to AFL BigPond Network


WE’VE been on the blower to Santa*. Harsh words were called for after he brought us the wrong Bratz doll last Christmas, but while we were giving him heaps, we also asked him to reveal what a few significant football figures had asked for during the festive season. *Actual conversation may not have happened.*Kevin Sheedy wants some ideas on what to do during the football season.
*James Hird wants a multi-billion dollar share portfolio, a swag of company directorships and a really big house. Santa says no because Hirdy’s got it all already.
*Jason Akermanis wants to overcome his shyness and become more like Anthony Mundine.
*Ben Cousins wants a shirt with a collar and buttons.
*Jeff Kennett wants two premierships by 2012 and 50,000 paid-up members for the Hawks. He also wants an end to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and a packet of Tim-Tams that never ends.
*Scott Lucas wants a right foot.
*James Brayshaw wants the gasometer rebuilt and that crazed circus elephant with the little kid on its back to return to Arden St as part of the innovative "back to the future" program at North.
*Carlton wants the No.1 pick in the NAB AFL Draft in perpetuity.
*Joffa wants to stop dressing in a Crunchie wrapper when the Pies look like winning a game.
*Mark 'Bomber' Thompson wants to be known as Mark 'Ex-Bomber, now the Cats’ last premiership coach having usurped Bob Davis from his prized and mildly amusing stock role as the last Geelong premiership coach' Thompson.
*Bob Davis wants the piano accordionist back in the rooms before the next Geelong Grand Final and Happy Hammond to run out with the team again. Santa says no because Happy died nine years ago.
*Bruce McAvaney wants a year’s supply of rhetorical questions, doesn’t he?
*Bryan Strauchan wants credibility as a serious footballer and a year’s supply of Big Macs with extra lettuce as he’s on a fitness kick.
*Mark 'Choco' Williams wants a heads-up on every retirement and appointment at every AFL club next season so he can announce them all in advance.
*Wayne Carey wants his head read for contemplating a boxing match with Willy Mason.
*Brendon Fevola wants another 99-metre head start in the 100-metre Grand Final sprint so he can get back on the winners' list.
*Leigh Matthews wants another new set of teeth.
*Tadhg Kennelly wants Irish dancing lessons so he won’t embarrass himself on the Grand Final podium again.
*Spida Everitt wants a full torso tattoo of his Swans jumper, including number and sponsors logos, to wear on hot days
And everyone at afl.com.au wants to wish all our readers a very merry Christmas.
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.

Note: where's the bored wordsmiths to provide a saints christmas list.

[saintspremiers]

how about Dimwit fork off and quit.

Hope he had a miserable Xmas and lousy New Year!

[Huzzad]

Nice one. No Saints comments I noticed...ah well!

[HSVKing]

Nice one. No Saints comments I noticed...ah well!

Hopefully that means we have everything we need