The Flux Report: Exorcism Round

[AeonFlux]

.

Assessment:
Scoreline
St K 103 def Dreamons 84.

Scoreline if <the definite article final-bloodly-ly deleted by SS St K Mods> Cho was still choaching us,

Dreamons 84 def St K 63.



Thank gawd we're now finally exorcised <the definite article final-bloodly-ly deleted by SS St K Mods> Cho!!!!!






Post of the weeK:

He said he couldn't believe the lack of coaching and development that he encountered when he was first appointed as well as the lack of knowledge with the St Kilda team. He said we were way behind in understanding how other teams train and especially the other teams' game plans. He was so glad that a professional of the calibre of Billy Slater was there in preseason to help teach some of the players to back themselves and be accountable as leaders.

He said he was worried that the hierarchy had waited too long to get rid of Richo and he thought that some of the behaviours and reluctance to back themselves would be difficult to change. He's pretty confident that he can weed out most of their bad habits in his first full year as head coach. He said the 'sum of all parts' was corporate speak bs as far as he was concerned and he was determined to make a difference to this outfit and lead the Saints to sustained finals appearances in the next 2-3 years

If this is only partially true, and we’ve heard some of that stuff before from a couple of ex-AFL footballers (one of whom isn’t blonde, the other is), then it’s a (further) damning indictment on a the worst coach in St Kilda’s living memory.
And even more so, a damning indictment on the arseclowns who facilitated his being inflicted upon our beloved club!!!!!!



Thank gawd we've now finally exorcised <the definite article final-bloodly-ly deleted by SS St K Mods> Cho!!!!!


34 is my Cho-favourite number. (Chortle.)






Ok, only 2 weeks, but seriously, for anyone who still wondering, it's now painfully (even more) bloody obvious to see how crap a choach was <the definite article final-bloodly-ly deleted by SS St K Mods> Cho was. The worst Saints' coach we can remember. (Scotty Squatters wasn't around long enough to know if he was a nut job, or if certain senior players shafted him - or both.)

The forward line is still too short, is now looking far far more dangerous. Blokes are actually looking for the best option, be that long or short!!!! Halle-bloody-lujah!!!!
- And blokes were even spotted........wait for it.......shepherding their team mates!!!!!! (Be still my beating heart.)

This deserves another run.


Player upsides included
- Seb Ross can live up to Saynta's faith in him - when he concentrates on his disposal. Won a B&F when he concentrated on his disposal. Very good tonight. Hopefully the penny will not only drop, but bloody stay dropped. Come on Seb!!! Stay bloody focused!!!
- Clark really looking at home at this level now.
- And Langlands going very well. Again. Only issue with the Doult', is he swings the footy from side to side one hellova' lot when running in for a set shot. Though the actual ball drop still seemed sort of ok.
Size and pace, and growing confidence. Reckon we've got ourselves another real steal with this bloke. Ex- Gi'aint's academy, but we got him as a rookie.
(Cue more drooling from Teddy - over a bloke he didn't even know we had. )
- The Marshall may have lowered his colours (slightly) to Gawn, but really took it up to him (especially physically), and gave him plenty to think about. Big improvement over when we last played them. Great to see the Marshall's improvement on a weekly basis.
- Lonie's tackles are sticking!!!
But. Note to Lonie. Get a right bloody right foot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Agggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Nick Hind. Didn't think this bloke would make it. That opinion is now changed. And is a much better kick that what we were lead to believe. (Fear.) And that's off either foot - take note Lonie!
- The Mighty Bruce!!!! Great mark, great leap, great kick (when on song), tenacious-as, and people don’t realise how bloody quick he is (and we don’t just mean ‘for a bloke his size’). But he is not a defender!!!!!!!!!! (Can lose his man a bit.) Still mind boggling that so many don't appreciate how good this bloke is!!!!!
- Ben Long played his best game for us to date. Probably means he'll be dropped for it like Parker was.
(Should we trade him? )


However!

I hate to be the one to take a flyswat to Tinkerbell, but...........

The pooches were very poor. The Tankards are very poor.

Yes, we already knew (TRUE DECIEVERS aside, of course ) that <the definite article finally deleted by both SS and St K Mods> Cho was a crap choach. But is Ratten the answer???

The next 4 weeks will be interesting. Starting with the Fruit Tingles at The Marmalade Oval next Saturday night. This is a game that we should win. However, our interstate form says otherwise. So delivering next Saturday night will be a huge step forward, and go a long way to establishing Ratten’s credentials to be our next coach






This week's analysis Committee:
- Catherine. (Entertaining everyone. Quite the hostess. Brought takeaway again. No chowder. Halle-bloody-lujah!!!! Just lots of chunky custard. Mmmmmmmm.)
- Aaron. (Loves his chunky custard. Very happy the chowder is permanently off the menu. Halle-bloody-lujah!!!!)
- king9. (Girl power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!)
- toni1975 (tony1975’s hot little sis’. More girl power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!)
- HarrietM (HarryM’s hot little sis’. Even more girl power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! You can’t have too much girl power!)
- Brigitte B. (Still more girl power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! You can’t have too much girl power!)


- Keyboard Cat (Cat power!!!!!!!!!! !!!)
- BornAgainNorwegianTed12. Everyone’s favourite Norwegian internet troll and emerging young fiction writer. Troll power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

I'm a troll.

- Parquetrysainter. (The ‘original’ Saintsational spreader of whispers. And is still just like Ted).

Whisper is these two have been impressing in match stimulation.

- Owen.
- Vaas Montenegro.
- BFTNorway - Simon the Troll Hunter.




Missing:
- Rodger. <swoon> Come back Rodger! We can get Kinky for you too.
- Mr Cuddly Duck. (Should be posting back here, not posting over on Big Cho. Come home Huggie.)
- Sainter K. (Where are you?)
- Jaffa Boy/Straw Man/Concern Troll. (Still fighting with himself/himselves. Needs to get a room with himself/himselves. )
- Rich Cho. (Halle-bloody-lujah!!!!)
- Saxons. (RosKilda’s favourite poster/s is in mourning - see below.)
- Lazar. (Performing some 'consignment' work at a Saudi embassy near you. )
- He’sHighMan. (Busy attending to goldfish anthropometrics.)

- Kingky12.







For Loris:
Something different this week.








For Trev:
Something different this week.








Proof that tap outs are next to irrelevant:
Taps to advantage are what matters!

Gawn v Marshall
Taps 40 v 22.
Taps to advantage 10 v 10.
Clearances Saints' way 38 v 31.

(And several of Gawn's taps to advantage came in that period in the 3rd quarter when Marshall was stuck on the bench waiting for a chance to get back on the ground. We even let Gawn 'contest' several ruck contests unopposed. And we didn’t spot Marshall getting to ruck against anyone other than Gawn.)

And further proof that Billy No-Stats is a total liability.





Flux Rant - GT and Lyin:

The guy lost all his money and all his superannuation in 2010 from a failed business deal. At the time, the Saints would not offer him a long term contract and Fremantle would. Nettlefoold told him that his position was not guaranteed beyond 2012. He needed to rebuild his life financially and had young kids. What would you do in the same circumstances? Would you pick your employer or your family's financial security?

Yes but he still went about it the wrong way. He didn’t even let his manager know. It was a disgraceful exit.

I still think he’s a great coach but not for us. He’d be a good fit at Carlton. They need someone to whip them into shape.

Lyin got into financial difficulties with his investments, however................
- His management negotiated a new contract with St Kilda that his management described as better than what they were asking for.
- Lyin agreed to said contract, and arranged to attend a signing followed by press conference the following day.
- Lyin never made it. Behind the back of his management he negotiated an alternate deal with the Purple Puke. (Hence his management said they had no option but to remove him as a client of theirs.)

Lyin was the best coach we've ever had after Yabby. But (unlike the Gnome or Sheedy) he seems unable to tweak his game plan to meet new challenges. Combining that factor, with his treacherous betrayal of the club that gave him a senior gig when no one else had , he is not the man to be our next coach!!!!

Both GT and Lyin had great lists. But, people forget that they also had opponents with great teams. GT and Lyin’s teams (and the teams they had to compete against) would have comfortably beaten any of the premiers from season 2012 up till today!!! (Timing. Can't help bad luck. )

And that is the real tragedy of the wasted years under the Micro Man and <the definite article deleted by SS and St k Mods) Cho. Flags for the taking! But we haven’t been there to compete for them!

And as for Ratten to be our next choach. Maybe it’s best to assess things when the whole season is done and dusted? Going too early can sometimes only lead to embarrassment and tears.

I'm telling you now, if they appoint that fucker Scott, I will be giving him a harder time than you guys ever gave Richo.

Flux Rant (2) – Big Boy:

We got p17 Dunstan, Savage and an upgrade from pick 24 to 19 Acres.

People forget that Big Boy was been monstered at the ruck contests, and then inexplicably lost his ability to hold those marks around the ground. For the first two years at the Skid Marks he was pretty ordinary, before improving.

And we did damn well out of what we got in return.

But most importantly of all, that upgrading of pick 24 meant that we didn't get Billy FIGJAM-dud Hartung!!!

Would you swap Marshall for Big Boy? If not then it’s probably worked out in the end.

No we wouldn't.

So yes. That trade worked out pretty well. (Win/win at absolute worst.)






For the TRUE DECEIVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! + This week’s handy ‘tip’:
The new Hole in the Ted gang.

I am not a member of the labor party
and its weird that some people rate other countries animals with a higher regard than ours that have been forced into extinction.

Hope you are not referring to me there sport.

I care about every animal , bird or plant life threatened with extinction.

That's nice to hear, but stuff the black throated finch and every other animal plant or bird life threatened with extinction! (Especially bloody magpies and bloody crows! ).

We still only care about all the money.

Now, obviously not applicable to any Saintsationalists (other than the TRUE DECEIVERS), but maybe for someone you know could benefit......?

Yes. It seem that there's now a way to gain 3 inches. But the person in question will have to act quickly.



Thanks for that Ellen. And you’re right. Never under-estimate what could be done with those 2 minutes gained.
(Or for those in need, those 3 inches gained. )

Absolutely.

This week’s tribute to the scumpiring fraternity :
Feeling too sentimental this week after 'the proposal'. We'll just leave it a Saintsationalist whom we can rely upon not to let misty-eyed BS get in the way of giving the scumpires what they deserve.............

f****** arseholes.

This week’s mailbag:
Blowme from Brisvegas writes asking,

In case our club’s relocation to Tassie and Shanghai doesn’t come through, Mexico may be an option.

What is the weather like in Mexico?

Glad you asked. Here’s the latest report that we have on the subject.


Hope that helps.

Yanet nailed it!

Vale:
- He'sHighMan. Apparently got busted, and has had to return to Cairns. But seeing as he has 'a record' there too, won't be able to stay. Maybe he'll move to Townsville? And return to us as AdaniMan? Hope so. Saxons says we need more coal miners.





- Rutger Hauer (23/1/1944 – 19/7/2019).
Saxons is taking this quite badly. Still in mourning.








(Still) dancing on the grave :

G’day Saints fans,

Very pleasing to be asked again by Linty to put together me team for the week.

There’s been some big efforts this year, and whilst last week’s result was out of the ordinary, and very pleasing, we don’t want to be getting ahead of ourselves, so we’ll park that, put a few blokes back to the Zebs to work with Sammy and the boys on their positioning - they’ll review strongly and leave no stone unturned to come back stronger than ever.

You have our word.

CHO'S CHOICE:
B: Gears, Joycey, Longy
HB: Newnsy, Batts, Blakey
C:JB, Dave, Hanners
HF: Mav, Brucey, Members
F: Lones, Big Jake, DMac
R: Billy, Steeley, Seb
I: Sincs, Lukey, Sav, Patts
E: Big Rowan (omitted), Hunts (managed), Coff (rested) Matty P (omitted)

Thanks again Linty, you’re a ripper.

You bloody beauty!
Rich Cho. (Chortle.)

https://twitter.com/AFLcomau/status/1150934782752116736

Loving it Linty! You bloody beauty!

Just wondering though......?
No spot for Kenty?
And we reckon that Newnesy could named HBF, HFF and on the ball – all at once.
Ok, maybe not for his disposal/footballing talent at AFL, but his work ethic and presence, makes him worth at least 3 blokes. Shirley.........?






Comeback posts of the week:
Now things are moving on this front.

If we bundle Long with White and Rice we may attract a lot more interest.

Other clubs may prefer Long Brown Rice. Can we be that flexible?

Yes and yes. Caused McCartin's concussion flying for a mark when he had no right to.

I'm not 100% sure about that Saynta. Sadly the crowd clapping too loudly can cause Paddy to become concussed.

Kah-ching!

We'll see how he goes but if he looks like being a gun then a first rounder is appropriate.

If there are no clouds in the sky it’ll probably be a sunny day.

(Not) comeback post of the week:

I couldn't disagree more Skeptic. Do a search for posts between SB and myself for 2018 around the time there was..........

But first, maybe do a search for the date He’sHighMan ‘joined’ Saintsational..............it was in 2019.






Membership:

Why would you be a financial member anyway?

It’s come to our attention that Barry Grogan has been so busy with his organic farming and Adani coal mine promotions, that he’s forgotten to renew his Saints’ membership.

Join up it now dude!!!! (Before the club appoints that Kray brother as choach, and gives you a legitimate excuse not to.)





Stuff to like:
Apart from the already mentioned.......................
- Paddy didn't get concussed again. (We think.............?)
- Joe King didn't hurt his knee again. (We think.............?)
- Hanners’ indefinitely got through another round of footy unscathed, and aware. (We think.............?)
- Seb. Concen-bloody-trated on his disposal.





Stuff to not like:
- Why Paddy didn't (and can't) get concussed again.
- Why Joe King didn't hurt his knee again.
- Why - Hanners’ indefinitely got through another round of footy unscathed, but aware.
- Why doesn’t Seb bloody concen-bloody-trate on his disposal as his norm!!!!????!!!!!!!

F^^k.

Report on The Ted Report:
We still can't get too much of a good thing! So there is no Ted Report this week. Besides, Ted's still too distracted chasing his imaginary ADHD squirrels around the room.

(We haven't got the heart to tell him that there are no squirrels in Oz. )

Absolutely.

List management 101 (revisited – again):
https://www.afl.com.au/news/2019-07-25/ ... de-targets
All we can say is that there are some really good opportunities amongst this mob. Particularly good value........
Zak Jones.
Riley Bonner.
Adam Tomlinson.
Stephen Cogniglio. (Ok. Not a bargain, but is what we're missing, and we've easily got the cap space.)





Opposition player to bag:
- Spoilt for choice. Pretty much the entire snow bunnies' team fit the bill. Proudly a tanking institution since 2007.
- Never forgetting Jamie 'seagull' Cripps!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!
We’re still maintaining the rage!!!!!! Traitor!!!!!!!! !!!!!

Down hill skier. Soft. Has pace and is a good shot at goal but easily replaced.
Looks good in a team with a strong midfield
Loves bruise free footy.

- Joel Smith – another traitor!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

Shove that up your <edit by mods>!

Next week at The Marmalade Oval (which is now also officially a no-go Cho zone ):
INS:
Options we're considering/not considering.................
- Battle. (And play him forward so we finally have 3 marking options up there!)
- Parker. (Played his best game to date against the Dogs, and should not have been dropped.)
- White. (Can do what Newnes does - and also actually contribute to the team.)
- Jack Steven and Jimmy Webster don't quite look match fit. (Especially Puddin' Jack. )

And whilst there maybe some reasonable arguments for not taking Coffield to Mamalaide Oval, he should remain in the team. Is improving every game, and adapting to the tempo of AFL footy. Needs continuity!!!! Then, like Clark, he will reward us.


OUTski:
- BAcres. (injured?).
- Sinclair. (Yes, was improved this week, and we are fans, but really need more from this bloke.)
- Newnes. (No Newnes is good Newnes!)

We can spare you.

Stiff as a badger’s ass (whatever that means? ):
Probably White, Marsh and Parker, and anyone else whom Newnes gets ahead of.






Thoughts, Rodger? <swoon>

Thoughts, TRUE DECEIVERS?

Thoughts, Saintsationalists?


- Aeon.

Pop goes the weasel I'm voting Flux next time unless we can get Kinky to immigrate to Oz .

Flux yeah!

* desertsaint for Saints’ CEO/General Manager/AFL provocateur!!!!!












The Flux Film Bluffs’ Feature:
Fatherland: WW2 Alternative History. Something to cheer-up Saxons (even if not anyone much else).



However, the rest of us (including Roskilda – sorry Saxons) prefer this 'version' post-war events.

Danger Five.
Bits of this may have been posted before. But here’s the whole thing.
Hard to categorize. A bit like ‘Thunderbirds Are Go’ meets Hitler.
(With some killer drink recipes thrown in for the Saintsational alkies’ out there. )

Pilot here (and don’t worry, the rest of the series episodes are all full screen):


Series episodes here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=P ... _YEs9OrHKf







.

[Linton Lodger]

Cracking stuff.

Yes, I've been a critic of Bruce, but happy to see him firing on all cylinders and playing like a bloody key forward. He's playing the best footy I've seen him play. I eagerly await the arrival of the King, then Brucey must be afforded less attention given that entire back sixes of our opponents will be preoccupied with the young King.

And what's with Grogan's membership?

I hear Vass Montenegro is a recruitment specialist. Goes door to door, in the middle of the night and convinces lapsed members to sign up. Has been known to contract out his services to the CFMEU.

[AeonFlux]

Next Saturday's team (updated):
After a review of our injuries, and a rethink as well...

- Webster replaces Coffield. Whilst we're a finals chance, reckon we should go hard (and Hard Saint?) for it.
- In that vein, take a punt on Pudding Jack Steven, and replace Sinclair.
The fruit tingles are in disarray.
Their choach seems to have lost several of the senior players, and nothing can be done about that till the end of the year, when choach or players are moved on. (However, Don Puke looks like 'doing a Cho' to them, and being saved by the prospect of his club not wanting to pay him out for 2 years. Suffer in your jocks, you bastards!!!!!! )
Throw in their slow mid field, and we've warmed to the idea of bringing Jack back, even if (at this stage) only as an impact player.
- And Josh Battle replaces Newnes. No-brainer!!!! (No Newnes is good Newnes!)

BS defensive forward???
You don't need a BS 'defensive' forward.... if your player in question is a dangerous 'attacking' forward!!!


Win this one, and finals become a real possibility.
We should beat Carlscum.
We will beat the Dyin Lyin's Purple Putrid Puke.
And if so, we'd' then rate as at least a 60-70% chance against the Swines.


Beat the Fruit Tingles on Saturday, and we'll also start to seriously warm to Alfred E Neuman.





Grogan!!! :

And what's with Grogan's membership?

I hear Vass Montenegro is a recruitment specialist. Goes door to door, in the middle of the night and convinces lapsed members to sign up. Has been known to contract out his services to the CFMEU.

The word we're hearing is that Mr Grogan can expect an imminent visit from St Kilda's new Head of Membership Services ('Retention' Division), Mr Vaas Montenegro.
It's also whispered that Vaas prefers cash, but will take a credit card. (Don't expect it to be returned though. )

We're also hearing that Vaas has been known to contract out his services to Lazar, specialising in 'car parks'. (Aka, 'the Bluthy problem/solution'. )






The Fux Film Buffs’ Feature:
If we don't make the finals, it's only four more Fluxed Reports to go till Saintsational is exorcised of this pestilence, and Rodger <swoon> gets to once again take over. Oh Rodger! <swoon>
(Not bad. 2 blights on St Kilda exorcised in the one season. )

So, with that in mind, need to get a wriggle-on with the Flux Film recommendations.

Before The Rain.
Sadly ultra-obscure, but one of THE greatest movies ever made. In fact, equal second on the list of Flux Forever Favourited Films.
And what a sound track!
And also, the great Katrin Cartlidge! Taken way too soon. Vale.

(Ok, they did cheat with those starry night sky shots. )

Groundbreaking!

Thoughts, fellow racists?





- Aeon.




.

[Ghost Like]

Love it!!! Not Lovett!

[Linton Lodger]

We're also hearing that Vaas has been known to contract out his services to Lazar, specialising in 'car parks'. (Aka, 'the Bluthy problem/solution'. )

.

I've heard Vaas offers a generous discount to former players, for services rendered.

Apparently he discouraged a certain dwarf from proceeding to litigation. Only charged Clint Jones a bottle of grappa.

[AeonFlux]

What has happened to this site's ability to embed videos? Did someone post something that upset Vaas?




- Aeon.