I'll leave all the jokes to my fellow Sainters other than to respond to your question about what are some of the things that merit a free kick?
Good question-I wish we knew the answer. Each week the umpires change the rules on us all and you can be sitting next to an opposition supporter and they'll be yelling "BAAAAAAALLLLLL" and we'll be yelling "BAAAAAAAALLLLLL" and the umpire will pay "around the neck" when it was around the players ankles.
There is a body of former players called the Rules Committee and they make up the rules literally and sometimes even they don't understand the rules as they call the game on radio or television-very frustrating.
As for memberships, after talking to overseas vistors, I don't think we appreciate how cheap it is to go to a game. $21.30 for general admission (up in the nosebleeds), memberships start off with a basic access to all home games, or 16 gamer that gives you access to five away games.
As a member you can attend the Annual General meeting, vote on Life Membership nominations, get up and ask smart or dumb questions and know you are part of a group that "owns the club". No private ownership here. Supporters can sponsor players (no idea how much that costs) and there are various supporter groups that sponsor players and hold functions, such as The Angels who have get togethers throughout the year and help raise money for the club and a couple of charities.
I'm a reserved seat holder on Level 1 for our home games and a social club member which gives me access to Grand Final tickets when we make it. I can't even tell you how much it costs as I just make monthly payments spread out over the year.
The website
www.saints.com.au will give you the cost of membership and I'm sure one of our members living overseas can tell you if there is an international membership.
Someone else can discuss the merits of ruckmen and the difference between contested and uncontested possessions and whether it counts towards a myriad of pointless statistics...