Message from Mars
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- Dr Spaceman
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Message from Mars
I was just imagining I'd come down from Mars and had discovered this awesome sport called AFL.
The first game I saw involved a team named St Kilda and I was instantly taken by the show these superb athletes put on. Intrigued to find out more about this club I consulted google and discovered there was a forum especially created for like minded fans. It would be through this site that l would learn more about my new adopted sporting team.
After reading through the comments from fellow fans on the many threads on this forum I am now much more informed about the Saints.
Although there is much disagreement between members of the forum, here is a summary of some of the things I have learned:
Blake - Ordinary player past his best.
Gram - Soft player who can't kick and doesn't try.
Kosi - Mentally weak player with no agility and no awareness.
Riewoldt - Flawed champion who is past his best and can't kick goals anyway.
Goddard - Undisiplined pyscho playing out the year before heading to GWS
Milne - Lairish player who has no aerial skills and is past his best
Montagna - TV star who doesn't put in.
Armo - Can't play two good games in a row.
Gilbert - Wacko who butchers the ball.
Jones - Kicks like Gilbert.
Cripps - Soft youngster who "dogs it".
Wilkes - Apparently a potato.
Of course the team is missing McEvoy but he's aparently a big slow ruckman who can't win a hit out.
And in the wings we have:
Clarke - Long time dud who cost the club a GF.
Peake - Better suited to surfing & tweeting.
Ledger - A big headed goofball with no tank.
Markworth - A twig who'll need to spend the next 10 years in the gym
Winmar - No ability and recruited only because of his name.
Archer - Apparently worse than a potato.
Overseeing all this we have:
The President - Does nothing apart from saying "right".
The CEO - Does nothing right and should be sacked and repay his salary.
The Recruiters - Hate big people and should similarly all be sacked.
I may have missed one or two but it doesn't matter; thanks to this forum I'm pumped!
Goodnight Earthlings, and GO SAINTERS!!!!
The first game I saw involved a team named St Kilda and I was instantly taken by the show these superb athletes put on. Intrigued to find out more about this club I consulted google and discovered there was a forum especially created for like minded fans. It would be through this site that l would learn more about my new adopted sporting team.
After reading through the comments from fellow fans on the many threads on this forum I am now much more informed about the Saints.
Although there is much disagreement between members of the forum, here is a summary of some of the things I have learned:
Blake - Ordinary player past his best.
Gram - Soft player who can't kick and doesn't try.
Kosi - Mentally weak player with no agility and no awareness.
Riewoldt - Flawed champion who is past his best and can't kick goals anyway.
Goddard - Undisiplined pyscho playing out the year before heading to GWS
Milne - Lairish player who has no aerial skills and is past his best
Montagna - TV star who doesn't put in.
Armo - Can't play two good games in a row.
Gilbert - Wacko who butchers the ball.
Jones - Kicks like Gilbert.
Cripps - Soft youngster who "dogs it".
Wilkes - Apparently a potato.
Of course the team is missing McEvoy but he's aparently a big slow ruckman who can't win a hit out.
And in the wings we have:
Clarke - Long time dud who cost the club a GF.
Peake - Better suited to surfing & tweeting.
Ledger - A big headed goofball with no tank.
Markworth - A twig who'll need to spend the next 10 years in the gym
Winmar - No ability and recruited only because of his name.
Archer - Apparently worse than a potato.
Overseeing all this we have:
The President - Does nothing apart from saying "right".
The CEO - Does nothing right and should be sacked and repay his salary.
The Recruiters - Hate big people and should similarly all be sacked.
I may have missed one or two but it doesn't matter; thanks to this forum I'm pumped!
Goodnight Earthlings, and GO SAINTERS!!!!
- Con Gorozidis
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- Cairnsman
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Re: Message from Mars
You should have visited a few years earlier, we used to have this coach who walked like a woman and couldn't coach for nuts. But not anymore, we've now got a new coach and after 8 games the pundits are convinced, he is "the one".
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Re: Message from Mars
Great !!
"The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break in the game. Every minute, every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when we add up all those inches that's gonna make the f***in' difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying!'
- Life Long Saint
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Re: Message from Mars
Hmmm....I prefer this message...
No-one would have believed, in the early years of the 21st century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space. No-one could have dreamed that we were being scrutinized, as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets. And yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us…
No-one would have believed, in the early years of the 21st century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space. No-one could have dreamed that we were being scrutinized, as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets. And yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us…
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Re: Message from Mars
We're as the visitor from Venus couldn't help but see things in the totally opposite way.
These men were brave fearless warriors putting their life on the line spilling blood and sputum for the cause of victory, handsome gladiators their bodies rippled with muscle and sinew prepared to kill or be killed for their legions of adoring fans. Week after week they trained pushing themselves to the edge of exhaustion ,throwing themselves into battle, having jaws broken, legs snapped in half , muscles torn off the bone , Achilles tendons broken like twigs , heads smashed in, eyes poked out all in the name of glory all for that one chance of being adored by all. Long live the football warrior.
These men were brave fearless warriors putting their life on the line spilling blood and sputum for the cause of victory, handsome gladiators their bodies rippled with muscle and sinew prepared to kill or be killed for their legions of adoring fans. Week after week they trained pushing themselves to the edge of exhaustion ,throwing themselves into battle, having jaws broken, legs snapped in half , muscles torn off the bone , Achilles tendons broken like twigs , heads smashed in, eyes poked out all in the name of glory all for that one chance of being adored by all. Long live the football warrior.
Re: Message from Mars
great post, though:
actually you probably wouldn't have found the forum at all or read any of the comments, because we're sooks and we hide the forum unless you're logged in. f*** knows why. can we fix that please mods?Dr Spaceman wrote:After reading through the comments from fellow fans on the many threads on this forum I am now much more informed about the Saints.
Re: Message from Mars
I would suggest that the Martian put bobmurray on ignore and 90% of the OP would not have been read by he/she/GT.
Lance or James??
There comes a point in every man's life when he has to say, "Enough is enough." For me, that time is now. I have been dealing with claims that I cheated and had an unfair advantage in <redacted>. Over the past three years, I have been subjected to a <redacted>investigation followed by <redacted> witch hunt. The toll this has taken on my family, and my work for <redacted>and on me leads me to where I am today – finished with this nonsense. (Oops just got a spontaneous errection <unredacted>)
There comes a point in every man's life when he has to say, "Enough is enough." For me, that time is now. I have been dealing with claims that I cheated and had an unfair advantage in <redacted>. Over the past three years, I have been subjected to a <redacted>investigation followed by <redacted> witch hunt. The toll this has taken on my family, and my work for <redacted>and on me leads me to where I am today – finished with this nonsense. (Oops just got a spontaneous errection <unredacted>)
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Re: Message from Mars
If you really are from Mars wouldn't the message be ;
EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE !!!!
EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE !!!!
In red white and black from 73
- PaytonPlace
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Re: Message from Mars
As long as the Martian hates Collingwood, I like it...
You can listen to Bristle tell you Carlton are still a massive chance at 28 points down with two minutes to go, you can listen to him tell you all about Lorne, or you can watch a monkey on a pushbike...I know which I prefer...
- Dr Spaceman
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Re: Message from Mars
Well that's a given.PaytonPlace wrote:As long as the Martian hates Collingwood, I like it...
Even Martian Collingwood supporters have no teeth
- Dave McNamara
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Re: Message from Mars
It can be a harsh world... life in the Filth cheer squad is not for everyone.felix sorta' wrote:We're as the visitor from Venus couldn't help but see things in the totally opposite way.
These men were brave fearless warriors putting their life on the line spilling blood and sputum for the cause of victory, podgy gladiators their bodies flabby muscle and sinew prepared to kill or be killed for their legions of adoring fans. Week after week they trained pushing their beer consumption to the edge ,throwing themselves into the bottle, having jaws broken, hindlegs snapped in half, muscles torn off the bone, Achilles tendons broken like twigs, heads smashed in, teeth poked out (one each) all in the name of glory all for that one chance of being adored by Joffa.
Last edited by Dave McNamara on Tue 22 May 2012 4:11pm, edited 1 time in total.
It's Dave, man. Will you open up? I got the stuff with me! -------Who?
Dave, man. Open up ------------------------------------------ -----Dave???
Yeah, Dave. ---------------------------------------------------------Dave's not here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOiG1hAr ... detailpage
Dave, man. Open up ------------------------------------------ -----Dave???
Yeah, Dave. ---------------------------------------------------------Dave's not here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOiG1hAr ... detailpage
- IluvHarvey
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Re: Message from Mars
You forgot......
T. Walsh - the greatest player to ever play the game and we gave him up for bugger all.
T. Walsh - the greatest player to ever play the game and we gave him up for bugger all.
"It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress."
- Dr Spaceman
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Re: Message from Mars
He prefers green tealoris wrote:What did the Martian learn about the coffee shops in Seaford?
- 8856brother
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Re: Message from Mars
Nanoo Nanoo
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"Don't argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."
"Don't argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."
- GRAMophone
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Re: Message from Mars
Very funny post....thanks. I laughed out loud - a lot.
Any decent ruckmen on Mars?
Any decent ruckmen on Mars?
HOPELESSLY DEVOTED
- Enrico_Misso
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Re: Message from Mars
I think Barry Brooks came from Mars.GRAMophone wrote:Very funny post....thanks. I laughed out loud - a lot.
Any decent ruckmen on Mars?
The rest of Australia can wander mask-free, socialise, eat out, no curfews, no zoning, no police rings of steel, no illogical inconsistent rules.
They can even WATCH LIVE FOOTY!
They can even WATCH LIVE FOOTY!